


Advent challenge 2015

by Leiya



Category: Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru
Genre: Drama & Romance, Harpist!Shuusei, M/M, Separation, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Character, Trans!Shuusei, two different stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 09:45:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 23,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5329565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leiya/pseuds/Leiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My Advent challenge. 24 days, 2 stories 24 chapters.</p><p>Story 1: Hotsuma loves to listen to his bestest friend's harp play. It's the only time the lively boy could sit still and concentrate on something. But then Shuusei is forced to move away. Can their friendship survive this distance?</p><p>Story 2: Shuusei has a secret he doesn't talk about. To no one. Not even his own soulmate. What happens if the circumstances force him to tell Hotsuma that in fact he doesnt have a boyfriend but a girlfriend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1 - Kinderszenen

**Author's Note:**

> This is my my advent challenge for this year. 
> 
> I have two AU-ideas I want to get out of my head with this small project. The uneven days will be the musical story. A full AU with no Duras, no Giou Clan, no special abilities. It's just a cute story about the close friendship of two boys growing up.  
> The even days explore the live of a mtf transgender Shuusei who is afraid of herself and her life with her boyfriend and roommates. Here also no Duras will appear, but I've kept the Tasogarekan as the Zweilt's shared house. I hope to represent her feelings well enough...

Day 1 – Kinderszenen

 

The little boy’s eyes sparkled as he laid there on the floor listening intensely to the sounds of the harp another boy just slightly older than himself was playing on. Never before in the almost five years of his life had he heard music so beautiful, or so he thought. Of course he knew the melodies, it were the songs their mothers used to sing for them every day when the boys had to take their naps whether they wanted or not – usually they did not, playing together was much more fun than sleeping during the day.

Well, the boy playing was also wonderful. His bestest friend in the whole wide world! Somehow he knew that Shuusei would always play an important part in his life and he did not even dare to imagine his life without him. They knew each other since they could think. They lived in the same street and went to the same kindergarten. They were basically inseparable and spent every free minute together.

 

“Wow Shuusei is really talented! Do you plan on letting him play in competitions?” Hotsuma’s mother asked quietly, and Shuusei’s mother nodded.

 

“He loves the music and I think he has the potential to win.”

 

“Haah... I wish Hotsuma had some talent besides running around and spread chaos.”

 

“But look at him. He’s quiet now.”

 

“Thank god... That happens much too seldom.”

 

“SHHHH! I wanna listen!” Hotsuma protested. If their parents wanted to talk they should leave the room and not disrupt Shuusei’s wonderful music.

His mother laughed but then luckily indeed shut up.

 

But soon after Shuusei finished his performance and when the boy stood up Hotsuma jumped to his feet and applauded happily. “That was soooo great, Shuusei!!! One day you’ll be famous! And give your own concerts!”

 

“And I expect you to sit in the first row to watch me play.” Shuusei smiled at his younger friend.

 

“Of course! As often as I can come! And now come! I’ve learned a new game in kindergarten yesterday! We have to play it!!!!” Hotsuma grabbed Shuusei’s hand and pulled him out of the room. Both boys laughed happily.

 

Their mothers shook their heads. “And there he is again.” Hotsuma’s mom sighed. “Way too much energy, this boy.”

 

“But it’s good that he passes this energy on to Shuusei. He’s too serious whenever your son is not with him. I hope they both will find new friends soon...”

 

“When will you move?”

 

“End of next month. But we’ve found a good school in New York for Shuusei.”

 

“That’s good. I hope Hotsuma can deal with the separation...”

 

“Of course. He’s a lively boy. He will adjust to the new situation.”


	2. Day 2 - Love making

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second story begins. And it gets a bit erotic wuhuu!

Day 2 – Love making

The door was barely closed behind them, as Shuusei was pressed against it and felt Hotsuma attacking his lips with a fierce kiss. Shuusei smiled a bit and gave in. God, he loved Hotsuma’s kisses! Was there a better feeling in this world than being kissed by someone who loves you as deeply as Hotsuma loved him?   
He sneaked his arms around his partner’s back and pulled him close only to be answered by an approving groan.   
“God, Shuusei... You drive me crazy, I hope you know that.” Hotsuma said when he separated from his lips to catch his breath. Shuusei smiled lovingly and caressed his cheek. Of course he knew that. The way Hotsuma had looked at him all day during his Kyûdô tournament was proof enough. “You look too damn good in those traditional clothes. I hope you know that! You should wear that more often!”

“It’s just a sports outfit, Hotsuma... I don’t plan to wear that in everyday life...” Shuusei stated not looking at his partner.

“But there are also pretty yukata that would look awesome on you!”

Shuusei closed his eyes. He didn’t want to discuss things like this. Instead he pressed a loving kiss on Hotsuma’s lips. “I don’t think clothes are an appropriate topic right now.”

“Oh, I disagree. They are a very important topic just in this second!” said Hotsuma with a grin on his lips. “Or well, rather the absence of clothes to be more precise.” His lips found Shuuseis neck while he blindly started unbuttoning his shirt and letting it glide from Shuusei’s shoulders. 

Shuuseis took a deep breath. Even though they were together for about half a year by now, he still was not completely used to this intimacy. He loved being near Hotsuma, loved his kisses, his arms around his body in every possible way. But being naked in front of his beloved partner was still unused. Even though there were no terrible scars on his body in this life, the restlessness was still there and had another origin now.

He couldn’t process this train of thoughts, didn’t want to, he let his hand wander in Hotsuma’s hair and tucked lightly to tell him he wanted a kiss. And Hotsuma understood. Shuusei closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of Hotsumas tongue playing with his own and Hotsumas hands exploring his upper body in a very pleasant way.  
Now Shuusei himself too started to explore Hotsumas body. Hands gliding under his T-Shirt – Shuusei could never understand how this guy could wear these even in the middle of the winter – and caressing his back.

Then Hotsuma started to move them towards their bed and gently leading them to lie down, Hotsuma on top of his partner.   
“Relax, Shuusei. I won’t hurt you!” Shuusei smiled and nodded. Hotsuma was a very considerate lover.   
After Hotsuma had removed his T-Shirt he turned again to Shuusei’s lips. Somehow he seemed to sense that Shuusei was rather in the mood for gentleness than passion, and he wanted Shuusei to feel good.  
And Shuusei really appreciated this treat of Hotsuma. “I love you!” he whispered against Hotsuma’s lips and pulled him closer.

“I love you, too.” Hotsuma answered and lovingly bit Shuusei’s bottom lip.   
Shuusei groaned before pulling Hotsuma into a real kiss. He didn’t want to play games. His mind was much too uneasy for that.

Hotsuma obliged and while one hand started toying with Shuusei’s nipple the other cupped his crotch eliciting a quiet moan from his partner.   
He loved playing with Shuusei’s body and driving him insane. He never asked why Shuusei was so shy whenever it came to sex, never felt the need to. Shuusei was not a person for physical contact. And whenever they did this he eventually relaxed and entrusted himself to Hotsuma’s capable hands. And he trusted his partner to tell him when something was wrong.

He opened Shusuei’s trousers and let his hand glide inside. “Relax, love. I’m here.”, he whispered while grabbing Shuusei’s cock and stroking it gently. 

But the moan Shuusei let out now was not the usual enjoying noise. And he shifted away as soon as Hotsuma let go of him.

“Shuusei?” Hotsuma asked worried. “Have I hurt you?” 

Shuusei shook his head. “I’m sorry! I thought it would be okay... I’m sorry. I didn’t want to disappoint you!” Shusei had now curled up and Hotsuma could clearly see that he felt uncomfortable.

“Hey... what’s wrong? Shuusei?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Shuusei stated trying to get under the covers.  
Hotsuma got up and pulled the woollen blanket from the end of the bed and draped it over his partner. Whatever was wrong with Shuusei, he wanted to comfort him.

“But... I want to understand what’s up... When I’ve messed up, I’m sorry. I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again!”

“It’s not you. You’re perfect. Unlike me...” Shuusei’s voice was breaking. “Please... let me alone now...”

“But... Please... Talk to me... Not right now... But... I want to understand you... I’m there for you! No matter what. I’m your partner, you are my most important person. I love you.”  
Hotsuma brushed his fingers through Shuusei’s hair and pressed a kiss on his head.  
“Do you really want me to go?”

Shuusei hesitated but then shook his head. “Hold me.”, he pleaded quietly and Hotsuma obliged instantly. He didn’t ask questions just snuggled close to Shuusei, caressing is back and playing with his hair, hoping Shuusei would find the courage to tell him whatever was bothering him. There was nothing in this world that could stop Hotsuma from wanting to be by his partner’s side.


	3. Day 3 - Élégie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has come. Shuusei has to leave Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare your hearts to be ripped out. An Elegy is a poem of mourning. The title refers to Gabiel Fauré’s Elegy That’s why I chose the french writing.

Day 3 –Élégie

“I don’t want you to go! Shuusei!! Stay here!” Hotsuma cried. The day had come and Shuusei would move to America today. He and his mother had come to Hotsuma’s house to say goodbye. Hotsuma had been totally petulant since the day Shuusei had told him about the moving plans. He really didn’t want to let his best friend ever go to another country on the other side of the world.

“I can’t. Dad’s got a job in New York and he doesn’t want us to stay behind.”, Shuusei shook his head sadly. He hated seeing Hotsuma like this. But he could understand him. Leaving the lively boy behind was the thing he regretted most about the whole thing.

“You can stay with us!” Hotsuma proposed. That sounded good. Then Shuusei could stay in Japan. “You can sleep in my room!”

“That won’t work, Hotsuma-kun.” Shuusei’s mother replied squatting in front of the blonde boy. “Look, Shuusei will be able to get even better with his music, and you want him to become better, right?”

“I don’t care! I want him to stay with me!” Hotsuma cried defiantly, tears falling from his eyes to the ground. He felt like the most important part of his life was about to be ripped away from him. And he didn’t want to accept that. He turned around but before he could run inside he could feel Shuusei behind him, embracing him from behind.

“Hotsuma… I don’t want to leave either… but please… don’t make it even harder for me… I have to go… But you have my new address. Write me a letter, okay?” Shuusei said quietly.

“I don’t know how to write!?” Hotsuma sounded truly desperate and turned around to face Shuusei.

“Then draw me letters. Of everything! I’m looking forward to them!”

“And you’ll write too?” Hotsuma asked. Still crying, still unwilling to let Shuusei go, but slowly accepting his fate of being alone now. He didn’t let any other person as close to him as Shuusei. Never ever! No matter how often his mother said he would find other friends. Other people to be so close with. Hotsuma just knew that wouldn’t happen. There was just one bestest friend in the world for him.

“Of course I’ll write back. And draw you the things your mom should not know.” Shuusei winked.

And at last Hotsuma could smile again, although it was not his usual bright grin he always wore around Shuusei. “Promised?” Hotsuma asked and turned around to hold out his pinkie finger and Shuusei intertwined his own pinkie with it.

“Promised. We’ll stay in contact.” He said smiling reassuringly.

“Shuusei, we have to go now. Say bye to Hotsuma-kun.” His mother interrupted the boys and seemed a bit impatient.

Shuusei sighed. “We will meet again. I swear. I’ll never forget you.”

“Of course. We’re bestest friends ever. And that won’t change no matter where you are.”

Shuusei nodded and suddenly for a brief moment Hotsuma could feel the older boy’s lips on his cheek.

“Bye Hotsuma. Please keep your bright smile.” Although Shuusei was smiling Hotsuma could read in his eyes that he didn’t want to leave him behind.

“Bye.” Hotsuma tried to smile but failed due to the new tears rolling down his cheeks. He watched Shuusei and his mother climb into the waiting taxi and driving away. He felt so empty inside. Almost split in half. Absentminded he touched his cheeks where Shuusei had kissed him. Did this count as his first kiss? Although it had not been on the lips?

“Come Hotsuma… It’s getting cold” his mother said softly, understanding the wrench inside her son.


	4. Day 4 - Outing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotsuma convinces Shuusei to tell him what went wrong.

Day 4 – Outing

They lay like this for some time Hotsuma trying to comfort his almost panicking partner. He gently stroked Shuusei’s back held him close. But he was uneasy, wanted to know what was wrong with his partner. What had led to this reaction?

Shuusei took his time so much that Hotsuma almost thought he fell asleep, but suddenly the boy in his arms began to talk:

“It’s really not you... The problem is on my side... I’m so sorry...”

“It’s alright... Shuusei. Will you tell me what’s up with you? I really don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me.”

“As I said...you’re perfect... I mean that. You did nothing wrong... It’s just... I hope you don’t hate me when I tell you... And turn away from me.”

“I can’t hate you. Never. And I will never leave you alone.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t know...”

“Then tell me. Shuusei... You’re scaring me... Don’t you love me anymore?”

“NO! I love you! I’ll always love you. You’re the only one for me.”

“Then please, trust me and tell me...” Hotsuma pleaded. What was so terrible that Shuusei feared to be left alone? 

“Hotsuma...” Shuusei’s voice sounded tortured as if he really struggled to find the courage.

“I’m listening.”

“I... don’t really know how to deal with it myself...” 

Calming Hotsuma touched his hair and stayed close to him, patiently waiting until Shuusei had found the fitting words. He only felt that if he said something he would destroy Shuusei’s courage.

“I... don’t feel like I belong in my body... That the way my body looks is not the way I feel it should be...”

Hotsuma tried to figure out the meaning behind these words. “Then... what do you feel like?” he asked gently trying not to judge Shuuseis words. His own emotions were completely irrelevant now, everything that counted was that Shuusei felt safe and loved.

“I... feel like I should be a girl... And today that feeling is stronger than usually... I... couldn’t stand being touched... down there... I... I’m sorry...”

Hotsuma kept quiet, trying to process this new information.   
Only after several minutes he asked: “So... did you always feel uncomfortable when we had sex?”

Again Shuusei took a bit of time then he nodded. “But only at first. I could always relax... but today ...”

Hotsuma nodded. “I see. You should have told me earlier...”

Shuusei kept quiet.


	5. Day 5 - Méditation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter arrives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s title originates from the violin piece “Méditation” from Jules Massenet’s opera Thaïs. I love the piece and I want this chapter to be a relaxed happy one. Although our boys are still separated.

Day 5 – Méditation

When Hotsuma came home from his first day of school he found a letter on his place at the kitchen table. It was clearly marked as airmail so it had to be from Shuusei.  
Hotsumas eyes started to sparkle and he ran to the table to take the letter. Ever since Shuusei had moved away Hotsuma had kept his promise to write his friend Or rather draw those letters. Shuusei always got at least five pages full of drawings of all the things that were important to Hotsuma. And Shuusei always replied with his own drawings – which were much more beautiful to look at than Hotsuma’s, Shuusei really was an artist not only with the harp – and always a written page which his mother always had to read to him.  
But it was only a matter of time until Hotsuma would also be able to read Hiragana. And then he could write Shuusei proper letters. He was very determined to learn the art of reading and writing as fast as possible! Only to be able to have better communication with his best friend on the other side of the world.

Hotsuma ripped the envelope open to take a short look at the four pages the letter included. The first three pages were drawings, a few sketches on both sides of the pages. Of a concert and of school and the teacher Shuusei couldn’t stand and some other things Hotsuma would have to look at later. He looked at his mother who had just entered the room and handed her the written page. “Shuusei has written! Would you read it to me??” he asked excitedly and his mother laughed.

“Hello to you, too, son. How was your first day at school?”

“Was okay. We have learned to write our names. And I know how to write Shuusei’s name, too. Can you read me his letter now?” That was more important to the boy now than school. They could talk about that later.

His mom shook her head and smiled. But something was in that smile Hotsuma didn’t quite like. nevertheless she took the letter and read it.

“Dear Hotsuma,  
I suppose when this letter reaches you, you already had your first day of school. Tell me how it was. How’s your teacher? Your class? Have you found new friends? Do you have cherry trees at school? I really miss the whole town painted in pink.  
There are some trees here in Central Park, but it’s not much compared to home.

Last week I was able to play at my school’s annual concert. I was so happy because normally they don’t allow first and second year students to play there. And there is a competition coming up in which I’ll participate next week. Wish me luck (If this letter reaches you in time)

I have to stop writing now, or dad can’t take the letter with him. I’m looking forward to your reply and enjoy the cherry blossoms for me

Shuusei”

Hotsuma beamed. “He is so great! To play at the school’s concert! I hope he wins his competition!! Mom!?! Can I take the camera and take some Sakura pictures for him? When he misses them so much I want to send him some all pink pictures!”

“First you eat your meal, then you make your homework. When you’re quick we can go taking some pictures.”

Full of energy Hotsuma did as he was told. And now he was more open to talk about school and everything that happened there today.

When he was ready with his homework his mother kept her promise and took Hotsuma to the park where the two boys used to play together. And Hotsuma took many pictures of the cherry trees at Shuusei’s favourite places.

He didn’t notice his mother’s worried looks anymore. He had too much fun taking pictures for Shuusei.


	6. Day 6 - Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotsuma's an idiot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm almost an hour late. It's already the 7th here, but I just returned from an awesome weekend with my cosplay group and couldn't post the chapter from the train. Back to usual schedule tomorrow.

Day 6 – Silence

“I see. You should have told me earlier...”

Shuusei kept quiet, not knowing what to say. What should she have said? “Hey Hotsuma, I’m a girl?” that sounded ridiculous. 

They stayed like this a long time until Shuusei got up to use the bathroom and dress into pyjamas. When she re-entered her room Hotsuma was gone.   
Shuusei sighed deeply and crawled into her bed. Of course Hotsuma would be gone. Who would want to be with someone who hid their identity? Of course Hotsuma would turn away now... She probably had lost her wonderful boyfriend right now. She curled up again and felt tears rolling down her cheeks onto her pillow, but she didn’t mind. 

When she had fallen asleep she didn’t notice. But it was her alarm clock that woke her up the next morning. She still felt terrible; her pillow was still damp from her tears. She didn’t want to get up today. She had ruined everything. Hotsuma had gone...   
She turned off the alarm clock and got up to get dressed. When she took off the pyjama, she looked into the mirror on her wardrobe. How she hated this body... That was not her... And now these feelings got worse. Now that this discrepancy between her mind and body drove the one person away that mattered to her. Quickly she got dressed into the boy’s school uniform she had to wear all her life and she went to the bathroom to wash her face. She didn’t want the others to see how miserable she felt. She didn’t want to explain herself again and lose the rest of her friends. And so she had to play a role she hated. The role of a guy she was not.

 

When Shuusei entered the dining hall, everyone was there. Everyone besides Hotsuma.   
“Morning...” he greeted the other youths around the table.

“Good morning Shuusei-kun. Where’s Hotsuma-kun?” Of course Yuki had to ask. Everyone had seen them leave together the previous night Hotsuma barely able to keep his hands still. So of course it was strange that only one part of the couple appeared.

“I don’t know. He preferred his own bed tonight”, Shuusei admitted when he sat down on his usual place.

“Did you fight?” Touko sounded worried.

“No.” They did not, right? Things just got... very awkward.

“Shuusei?”

“Tsukumo... I’m fine.” He just didn’t want to talk. 

They had almost finished their breakfasts when Hotsuma appeared, seemingly still half asleep. Shuusei avoided looking at his partner. He just got up and left the room. Still hoping somewhere deep down that Hotsuma would hold him back and greet him in his usual warm way.  
But nothing happened. Hotsuma didn’t seem to notice him at all. Shuusei again had to fight the tears. Was he really single again? 

She retreated to her room and took a deep breath trying not to break down again. They had to go to school. When the immediate danger of a crying attack was over she got her school bag and went to rejoin the others, retaking his male behaviour. Hotsuma was ready with breakfast and joined them soon after quarrelling with Kuroto, completely ignoring Shuusei. Yuki and the siblings exchanged worried looks but neither dared to say anything.

On the way to school the car was awkwardly quiet. Even Kuroto had shut up No one didn’t know what to say; the tension between Shuusei and Hotsuma could almost be seen.

Shuusei wanted to talk about it but also was frightened of Hotsuma’s answer. What if he really didn’t want to stay with Shuusei... or worse. Not wanted to stay his Zweilt-Partner? No, Shuusei preferred to not hear that. That would definitely break her soul beyond repair.


	7. Day 7 - Serenade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotsuma fights for his chance to see Shuusei again on his only concert in Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the title is a bit misleading I know But I’m too emotionally drained today to think of something better fitting… This chapter turned out completely different from what I had in mind… Sorry about that.

Day 7 – Serenade

“MOM!!! Shuusei’s coming to Japan!!!” Excitedly Hotsuma stormed into the kitchen one day after school. He was now 10 years old. “And we’re going to see his concert!! Please! Let me go!!!”

“Take off your shoes, Hotsuma...” his mother stated shaking her head. This boy... really.

“Sorry...” Hotsuma hurried back to the entrance and took off his shoes, before returning to the kitchen.

“Please!!! I want to see the concert!” He insisted ignoring everything around him. The news their teacher had dropped on them of the concert where the young Japanese harpist Usui Shuusei would play, Hotsuma could hardly believe it. There was a chance of meeting his best friend again! If only for a short time, but he wanted – no, needed – to see it. And hear Shuusei play again!

“Does the school pay the entrance?” His mother put a plate with curry rice in front of him to eat.

Sadly Hotsuma shook his head ignoring the food for once. “No... It’s 6500 Yen we have to pay”, Hotsuma admitted sadly.

“You know we don’t have money for things like that since your father had lost his job. We can’t afford 6500 just for a concert”, his mother refused.

“Please... It’s not just a concert! It’s Shuusei’s concert. And it is the day before my birthday... I don’t want any presents!!” Hotsuma pleaded. “And nothing for New Year’s. Please mom!!! I only want to see Shuusei play again!”

“Nothing more? What about that new game you desparedly wanted last week? And the other one the week before?”

“I didn’t know about Shuusei coming here then. If I can see him play again I really don’t want anything else. Just... please mom! I’ll do anything. And I don’t want anything special to eat... ” Hotsuma begged. Being able to see his old friend again was so important to him. 

“Anything?”

Hotsuma nodded. He was completely serious about this.

“Then eat your curry, do the dishes and clean the bathroom and your room.”

And for the first time the boy did not complain, but nodded and started with the assigned tasks. He had to prove his point and show his mother that he really wanted this. Then perhaps his parents could do something for him to see his best friend ever on his harp again!


	8. Day 8 - End of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk the things out an Shuusei gets a present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh you can be glad I didn’t want to write extended angst for my birthday so I decided to keep ths chapter fluffy and end their differences. Have fun

Day 8 – End of silence

A whole long week passed and Shuusei felt more and more on the edge. Hotsuma had completely ignored her and they had not talked even once this past week. Shuusei didn’t know what to do and buried herself completely in her schoolwork.

The day turned to the end. Shuusei had skipped dinner and worked since the moment she had come home. She had avoided contact to her housemates the last days, not willing to answer worried questions.

She was working through some stuff for the student council when she heard a knock on the door. Annoyed she looked up and thought about ignoring it, but whoever it was, didn’t want to be ignored indicating the identity of the person standing in front of the door. She sat up straight and told him to come in.

“Hey”, Hotsuma said as he entered the room with a shopping bag in his hands.

“What do you want?” Shuusei asked coolly.

“Talk to you”, Hotsuma replied. 

“Now? After a whole week? What do you think?”

“Shuusei... I’m sorry. I needed time... to process everything.”

“And you couldn’t say a word?” Shuusei was hurt about the silence and Hotsuma shutting her completely out of his thoughts.

“As I said... I’m sorry... really... I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well then... congratulations. Mission failed.” No it was not so easy for Shuusei to forgive him right away. “Was it that? I have work to do.”

“No. Not yet. I’ve been shopping today and I found something I thought you might like.”

“And what? Don’t think you can buy me.” She was not so easy to convince. Especially clothing was a sensitive topic. 

“This. Take a look.” Hotsuma pulled something out of the plastic bag he had nervously played with all the time.

At first Shuusei acted uninterested but when she looked up she froze. Hotsuma held up a pretty light green summer dress with a flowery not too prominent jacquard-pattern on it.

“D’you like it?” Hotsuma asked a bit shyly. “I... really wanted to apologize. I was unsure how to act. And I’ve spent several nights last week looking up what it means to be trans. I couldn’t talk to you, not because I don’t trust you but because I had to figure it out for myself to fully understand. I’m sorry for neglecting you. Please... forgive me.” He bowed deeply offering the beautiful dress to Shuusei.

And now Shuusei stood up and when she reached Hotsuma she slowly took the dress.  
“Please... next time tell me when you need some time for yourself. I can understand if you do. But... not saying anything... I thought you’d despise me now. I thought... you’d not want to be with me anymore...” She felt like crying. She wanted to forgive Hotsuma. But she’d been too afraid.

“Shuusei, no! I love you. And that won’t ever change!” Hotsuma stepped up to her and pulled her close into his arms. “You’re my partner and the other part of my soul. Don’t ever think I could leave you. I just... I had to adjust to the thought that my boyfriend is my girlfriend...I’m so sorry, love...”

Shuusei snuggled close to Hotsuma. “Hold me”, she begged clearly needed his strong arms around her for comfort and Hotsuma gladly obliged.

“I’ll talk to you in the future and you’ll try not to doubt me again, okay?” he asked quietly and pressed a gentle kiss on Shuusei’s temple. 

Shuusei nodded. “I love you. Stay with me.”

“Always. Only you. No matter if you’re a boy or a girl. Or an ugly green alien. As long as it’s you I’ll love you.” Hotsuma promised. And then he looked at his girlfriend expectantly.   
“D’you like the dress? I hope it fits you”, he repeated his earlier question.

“It’s beautiful! Do you think I can try it on?”

“It’s yours. Try it.” Hotsuma smiled. “Shall I go out?”

Shuusei looked at her boyfriend. “You act like you’ve never seen me naked... And I can’t change my body right now.” Shuusei said and started to undress. 

“Do you plan to start transitioning?” Hotsuma asked. “Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind whether you do or not.”

Shuusei shrugged. “I don’t know... I haven’t thought about it. I didn’t even plan to tell anyone about it...”

“But that’s who you are, isn’t it? A quite pretty lady!” Hotsuma stepped behind his girlfriend and helped her with the zipper. Then he turned them around so that she could look into the mirror. “Look, you’re beautiful!” he said and kissed the nape of her neck. 

“Hotsuma...”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me not to tell anyone before I’m ready, okay?”

Hotsuma sighed, but then nodded. “But don’t wait too long, please... You deserve to be who you are, love...”

“I... don’t know...”


	9. Day 9 - Humoresky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally after 5 years of separation meet again. For a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> X.x School’s killing me... And the chapter got way too long... here it is. The title refers to the piece by Antonín Dvořák. I’ve chosen the czech spelling because the composer was a Czech.

Day 9 – Humoresky

“Hotsuma-kun! Calm down.” His teacher told him sternly. The boy was much too excited and stood at the balustrade of the rank their seats were positioned and looked down to the still empty stage were only music instruments were proof of what would happen soon. And Hotsuma’s eyes were glued on the harp where in a few minutes his best friend would take his seat to play with the rest of the famous orchestra.

“But...”

“Sit down. Or else I have to call your parents to pick you up if you can’t behave.” The woman in charge of their excursion told the boy who was even more fretful than usually.

Hotsuma pouted but did as he was told. He couldn’t risk anything today since he had waited so long for this day. So he took his seat in the first row just at the balustrade not wanting to muss anything. With dreamy eyes he watched the harp and applauded the loudest when he saw the boy sitting down at the large instrument. If asked, he could not describe how he felt at this moment. His first and only best friend sat down there so near bust too far away to talk to him.

When the music started Hotsuma fell completely silent and concentrated on Shuusei and his instrument. And he looked gorgeous in the black tailcoat and pure white dress shirt. Like someone from another world. It was hard to believe that this was the boy who once played in the mud with him.  
And sometimes Hotsuma shushed his classmates, who dared to talk during the performance. He wanted to listen to this no matter how faint the sounds of the harp rang up between the other instruments. What would he give to have Shuusei play only for him once more?

And then it happened. The conductor had just announced a break when Shuusei looked up directly to the place where Hotsuma was sitting. It took only seconds until a happy smile spread on the serious face when he recognized Hotsuma. And Hotsuma returned the smile immediately. And he felt their souls reconnect in this very instant. It was a good feeling. But much too soon this magic moment ended and Shuusei had to leave his place and the stage and Hotsuma had to follow his classmates still caught in the great feeling that Shuusei had recognized him even though he didn’t know Hotsuma was here.

“Oi, Renjou! I didn’t know you were such a pussy who likes this chinking stuff!” one of his classmates teased him.

“Shut up Motomiya. I don’t. I’m just interested in Shuusei’s harp. The rest is boring as fuck”, Hotsuma stated which was not entirely true. Sometimes he enjoyed classical music but that was nothing his classmates needed to know.

“Watch your language Hotsuma-kun!” the teacher dunned him and Hotsuma fell silent. He didn’t want to risk anything. 

“Don’t tell me you know Usui-san!” Motomiya didn’t seem to believe him.

“He’s my best friend.” Hotsuma grinned. 

“No way.” 

“Hotsuma-kun. You must not tell lies.” 

“I don’t, sensei. I really know him.” He didn’t care what others thought. He knew perfectly well that he and Shuusei were still connected.

The rest of the break he stayed silent, even as they returned to their seats.   
The second part of the concert almost nothing happened. Hotsuma listened intently and he noticed the small glimpses Shuusei threw at him two or three times always smiling a bit. And was he wrong or did Shuusei play his instrument even more beautiful than before? To impress him? He didn’t know.

After the end of the concert Hotsuma hesitated to follow his class to the exit. A small part of him still hoped he could talk to Shuusei, but the chance was too dim. So he had no chance but leave the hall after the stage was empty and dark.

But when they were about to leave the building he heard small steps running up behind him.

“Hotsuma!”

He turned around and saw Shuusei stopping in front of him, still dressed in the tailcoat he had worn on stage.

“Sh...Shuusei!” He could not believe it. His best friend was standing in front of him and smiled happily. More happy than in all the pictures he had sent with his letters. And he could really talk to him again!

“Sensei, please allow me a few minutes to talk to Hotsuma-kun. It won’t take long!” Shuusei asked Hotsumas teacher very politely.

“Usui-kun, right? What do you want from him?” The woman asked and Shuusei nodded. 

“I’m sorry, this is private. I don’t have much time anyways and we’ll leave Japan again tomorrow morning, so please, just a few minutes!” he pleaded again and bowed to the woman.

“Please!” Hotsuma also asked and joined Shuusei in bowing. It seemed really important to his friend which gave Hotsuma a warm feeling. So he was not the only one missing his old friend.

“10 Minutes”, the teacher agreed and Shuusei bowed again before grabbing Hotsumas hand and pulling him away from his class.

“I didn’t know you’d be here! But I’m glad! You don’t know how much I’ve hoped to see you tonight!” Shuusei beamed and shortly hugged Hotsuma when they stopped at a wall in the hall where only few people passed by.

“Did you really think I can let you be here without seeing you play?” Hotsuma acted appalled. 

“No. I didn’t. But thanks for being here. It means so much to me! Although you promised to be in the first row.” Shuusei laughed.

“I’m sorry. I’ll keep this promise next time. I had to stay with my class. I’ve really missed your play!” Hotsuma beamed.

But then Shuusei got a bit more serious. “Do you have a cell phone?” he asked.

“Wha... no. We don’t have money for that... You know dad has lost his job and we have to see how we can get by...” Hotsuma said sadly. “I’ve started saving for one though. But it will take a while to get the money...”

“I see... It’s just... I thought we could exchange numbers...” Shuusei seemed a bit disappointed. “It’s much faster than letters...”

“I’m sorry... But you can give me your number and I’ll text you as soon as I can manage to get a phone...”

“That would be nice. Do you have a piece of paper?”

Hotsuma searched in his pockets and pulled out the ticket for the concert. He handed it to Shuusei who smiled again and scribbled some numbers on it.

“I’m looking for your text. I have to go now.”

“Oh... ok. I’m looking forward to your next letter.”

“I’ll write when the tour is over. Oh... and before I forget it... I know it’s tomorrow, but... Happy birthday.” He pulled a small package out of his suit and handed it to Hotsuma. “It’s nothing big. I didn’t know if I could see you here... but...”

“Thank you!!! No matter what it is, I’m happy!” Hotsuma beamed again and hugged his friend. He didn’t expect anything for his birthday. Being here and talking to Shuusei was more than enough of a present. “And I’m glad we could talk. Take care of yourself.”

“You too, Hotsuma. Bye.” They hugged again but then Shuusei had to leave and Hotsuma had to return to his class grinning about his little birthday present from his best friend.


	10. Day 10 - Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotsuma takes his girlfriend out for shopping and has to deal with her insecurities.

Day 10 – Shopping

“Shuusei?”

“Hm?”

“You wanna go shopping this weekend?”

“Shopping? I think I have enough clothes I don’t like...”

“Then what about clothes you would actually like? You do like the dress I got you, right?”

“Hotsuma... you remember your promise right? When should I wear these things? I can’t wear it outside this room. Why do I need more of this stuff? And it doesn’t fit so well around the chest for obvious reasons.”

“Of course I do. But... You need this stuff to feel comfortable? And I found some shops which would not ask any questions when we walk inside to try or buy you a bra or other feminine stuff. Or shall we order something online?”

“Hotsuma... I ... don’t know...”

“Of course you don’t know. But I do. I don’t like seeing you feeling so uncomfortable. Do you really want to keep your act up even when it’s only us two? Don’t you want to wear clothes you actually like from time to time? Feel more feminine?”

~~~~

So it was decided. The following Saturday Hotsuma dragged his girlfriend out of the house. Of course he saw her insecurities. Perhaps he was more excited to go shopping for new clothes for her than she was, but he had the feeling she just needed encouragement. He wanted her to feel safe with him. And he wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. He knew exactly she would suppress her own feelings and it was up to him to show her it was okay to show who she was. Luckily she had agreed to come with him. 

It was not far. They only had do go two stations by train until they arrived in Shinjuku Ni-chôme, where the heart of the LGBT-scene laid. Hotsuma looked around and led Shuusei through the crowded streets to an ordinary looking clothing store.  
“Here we are. As I said, they should not ask questions.”

Shuusei nodded and followed her boyfriend into the shop. The usual “Irasshaimase” could be heard from all the clerks as they walked inside and looked around.   
Hotsuma decided to let Shuusei look around and stay by her side. And he noticed she was curious although at first she looked at the boy’s clothes. But slowly she got nearer to the girl’s section. And as soon as she started to look at a blouse Hotsuma took it as a cue to look by himself for clothes she might like. 

“What do you think about this?” Hotsuma showed her a plain white blouse with puffed sleeves and a small bow on the collar. 

Shuusei’s eyes lit up. But she seemed still insecure. 

“Try it. It would suit you.”

“Do you think so?”

“Of course. You’re beautiful, Shuusei. No matter what you wear! And I don’t say that only because I love you.”

Shuusei looked at him sceptically and took the blouse and anther long sleeved one while Hotsuma scanned through the skirts. “Is it really okay for me to wear this?” Shuusei asked. 

“Do you want to wear it?” Hotsuma asked and very reluctantly Shuusei nodded. 

“Then you can. You are who you feel you are. No one has to see it, even I if you feel uncomfortable, although I’d really like to.”

A small smile sneaked on Shuusei’s lips. “Thank you, Hotsuma.”

“Everything for my wonderful girlfriend”, he grinned and pulled out a light purple knee long skirt with a black waistband. “I think this could suit you too.” He held the skirt to the blouses in Shuusei’s hands and nodded contently. “You should definitely try it!”

Shuusei gulped. But hesitantly took the skirt and went to the changing rooms and vanished into one of them. Hotsuma waited patiently until she came out again, not looking entirely happy.

“Wow. Pretty!” Hotsuma stated smiling widely.

“I don’t know...” It doesn’t fit around here...” Shuusei twitched at the fabric around her chest. Of course. The blouses were designed to fit around curves Shuusei didn’t possess. 

“Excuse me.” A friendly looking middle aged clerk interrupted them. Hotsuma could not tell whether it was a man or a woman. This shop was well-known among the trans community so it was only logical that at least some of the clerks were also somewhere in the trans spectrum, so he didn’t ask questions. “Would you like me to help you find a fitting bra? We have some here that meet your needs” Questioning they looked at Shuusei who felt insecure again.  
“Don’t be afraid, dear. I can completely understand you. The first steps are always hard. Come with me. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”

“Ya better don’t. Everyone hurting my girl would haveta burn in hell!” Hotsuma threatened with a smile. He just had to make that clear.

“Oh, you have a very protective boyfriend. That’s good.” The clerk led Shuusei away but she threw a look at Hotsuma who followed at once. Of course Shuusei needed him close now. This whole situation was new and strange for her, but if she didn’t want any of this she’d definitely say so. Hotsuma stood besides his girlfriend and held her hand while they listened to the clerk talking about bras and cup sizes. They took a few bras from the clothes rail with different cups and held them next to Shuusei.   
“You should try these, dear. Then we’ll see what fits best.”

~~~~

When they left the shop Shuusei smiled happily. They had bought the short sleeved blouse the skirt and several sets of underwear. 

“Thank you, Hotsuma... For taking me there.”

“I’m glad you’re happy. You really look pretty in those clothes. Believe me. I think you can really pass as a girl with them”

“And if not?”

“You think too much... You can rock it, Shuusei. There is another shop selling make up not too far from here. I don’t know if you’d want that...”

“Not today, okay?” Shuusei interrupted. She needed a break. It was hard enough to deal with the clothes and she now needed time to recharge her social battery. 

“All right, home or having an ice cream?”

“Get an ice cream and head home with it?”

“Roger.” Hotsuma grinned and Shuusei returned the smile. Yes, she was really lucky to have this guy as her boyfriend.


	11. Day 11 - Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Communication gets much easier for them. And a big turning point of the story occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a piece of classical instrumental music gave the titel for today’s chater but a song from the musical “The Phantom of the Opera”. I chose it because... of obvious reasons.

Day 11 – Notes

One and a half years after their meeting at the concert:

01.01. 20X3, 07.38 p.m.  
From Me To: Shuusei

Shuusei? I hope this is still your number? Guess what I could afford today?!!! Not the best one but it will suffice. And we can write now more easily.   
Hotsuma  
PS: Happy New Year

 

01.01. 20X3, 08.30. p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Good Morning. Well I think... A cell phone? But I can as well be mistaken. This is a very pleasant present for me ;) Happy New Years to you, too and send your family my regards.  
Shuusei

 

01.01. 20X3, 08.36 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

Oh, how late is it in New York? Did I wake you up? Then I’m sorry. Best regards back to your family from all of us.  
Hotsuma

 

01.01. 20X3, 08.48 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

06.45 a.m. I have to get up. Feel free to write me any time you like. I’ll answer as soon as I have time.

 

01.01. 20X3, 08.56 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

Is New Year’s no Holidy in America? It’s too early to get up at this time!!  
Hotsuma

01.01. 20X3, 09.26 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

It is a holiday, but I have a concert tonight and we have a last rehearsal and sound check in an hour. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’ll have a short Solo.

01.01. 20X3, 09.30 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei:

Oh, that’s great! You’ll rock it!! I wanna see you play again!   
Hotsuma

02.01. 20X3, 02.26 a.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

You will. One day. Rehearsal was a catastrophe, so the real thing will succeed I guess. 

~~~

05.01. 20X3, 02.01. p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you’ll have a great day and get many presents!!!  
Hotsuma

05.01. 20X3, 02.07 p.m.  
From Shuusei To: Me

Thanks for waking me up, idiot! There are people in this world who don’t stay up all night...

05.01. 20X3, 08.37 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Hey. I’m sorry for my rudeness earlier. I don’t like being woken up and I forgot to turn my phone on silent. Thank you for your good wishes nevertheless. Hope you had a great day?

05.01. 20X3, 08.42 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

I see. Sorry for waking you up... My day was okay. School’s boring. Teachers are annoying with their eternal complaints. Just because I forgot one homework...

05.01. 20X3, 08.55 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

For the third time this week? ;) Pay more attention to school. It’s important.

05.01. 20X3, 08.59 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

You sound like my mom... Do you have plans for today?

05.01.20X3, 09.39 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Perhaps you should listen to her once in a while ;) Just dinner at a restaurant with my parents. I’ll celebrate with some of my classmates on Friday And the guys from the orchestra have invited me on Saturday after our rehearsal to go ice skating.

05.01. 20X3, 09.50 p.m.  
From: Me To Shuusei

Ice skating sounds great. I haven’t been in ages. Have fun there.”

05.01. 20X3, 09.59 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Thanks. I’ll think of you. I’m now at school and you should go to sleep. It’s late.

05.01. 20X3, 10.05 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

I don’t sleep until 12. Have fun at school.

~~~~

28.03. 20X3, 17.22 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

*Picture sent*  
Morning... Do you remember this place? 

28.03. 20X3, 08.30 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Good morning. I’ll never forget the day you fell off that tree :P It’s so beautiful!!! I still miss the cherry blossoms in Japan

 

28.03. 20X3, 08.46  
From Me To: Shuusei

Shuusei? What shall I do? My mom keeps telling me to stop texting you... 

28.03. 20X3, 08.50 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Eh? Why does she do that? In this case I tell you do not listen to her!

28.03. 20X3, 08.55 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

She says I spent too much time on you and I shall look for other friends... But I don’t like the other guys in my class... And the girls are boring as fuck...

28.03. 20X3, 09.03 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

Well I can’t disagree with her for you to look for other friends besides me. But let me be a bit egoistic. I don’t want you to stop texting me. I like your texts and the feeling I’m still important to you.

28.03. 20X3, 09.05 p.m.  
From: Me To: Shuusei

You’ll always be important to me! Never forget that! You’re my bestest friend!

28.03. 20X3, 09.29 p.m.  
From: Shuusei To: Me

:-)

~~~~~~~~~~~

16.06. 20X4, 7.56pm  
Incoming Call --> Hotsuma

Shuusei looked at his phone which lay next to his seat and rose an eyebrow. Why did Hotsma call him? They had never called each other because it was much too expensive. 

“Excuse me? I have to take this call. It’s important!” He looked at his harp teacher, an elderly woman with whom he was just rehearsing for his next concert. They would play several harp-centred pieces!! So he was really proud of what he had reached with his music. But there was another important thing in his life which demanded his attention right at this moment.

“Okay. The lesson is almost over. We can stop here.”

Shuusei grabbed the phone and accepted the call

“Hotsuma!? What’s up? Why do you call so suddenly?” He asked with concerned voice while leaving the room. 

“Shuusei!” His eyes widened as he heard Hotsumas despaired voice. He was clearly crying.

“I’m here. What happened?”

“My... parents... They had a car accident earlier...”

“What??? How... are they?” That sounded terrible! Shuusei thought of ways to help his best friend. 

“They... are dead...”


	12. Day 12 - Talk time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotsuma needs some kind of reassuring words from Shuusei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HALF TIME!!! And somehow I managed to provide a chapter every day!!!

Day 12 – Talk time

“Shuusei? Am I too fast for you?” Hotsuma suddenly asked his girlfriend. They were together in Shuusei’s room. Hotsuma had just finished his homework on the couch while Shuusei was doing some work for the student council sitting at her desk. 

“What do you mean?” Shuusei looked up. 

“Like... when we were shopping last week... did you feel forced?” Hotsuma stood up from the couch and went over to her to embrace her from behind.

“Well... No... I’ll tell you, when I don’t want anything at all. You should know me well enough.” Shuusei leaned back against Hotsuma’s chest. 

“I know... but... please... Tell me if you feel uncomfortable with anything I come up with as well... It’s your decision what you wanna do or not. And I don’t always notice when I get overenthusiastic. I really don’t wanna force you but be your safe space where you can feel at ease and try out who you are... or wanna be... So tell me, if I’m too fast for you with my ideas...”

Shuusei stayed silent for a few seconds to think but then started to talk: “No... It’s okay.” She put her hands on Hotsumas which rested on her chest. “I... it was weird, yes... But I really like the things we got. I know I’m not easy for you to deal with... I don’t know what I want myself... But it’s okay if you push me out of my comfort zone from time to time.”

“I’m with you, Shuusei. I’ll go every step you want to take or not to take with you. You’re never alone.” He pressed a kiss on Shuusei’s head. “Have you ever thought about a future as a girl?” he asked.

Shuusei shook her head. “It seems so unrealistic. You know I didn’t want to tell anyone...”

“Never dreamt about a happy life?”

“Hotsuma...” Shuusei’s voice was pressed.

“I’m sorry...”

“I don’t have any plans for the future... Never had... There is still a possibility of being killed by a Duras or something like that... I live my life the best I can for the moment.”

“I see... Then do it. Live it so that you don’t regret not living your true self. One step after the next. I think everyone in this house would support you...”

“I still don’t want them to know, yet, okay?”

Hotsuma nodded and turned Shuusei’s desk chair around to look into her eyes. “I’ve promised. Nothing will happen if you don’t want it.” 

Shuusei smiled and pulled her boyfriend close to kiss him lovingly. She felt safe with him. And she trusted him that he would not force her into anything. He was much too careful with her for this.


	13. Day 13 - Pathétique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time lapse. Hotsuma has turned 16 and is in his first year of High school. Shuusei’s also 16 and in second year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from the piano piece of that name by Beethoven.

Day 13 – Pathétique

He looked around. So this was the school his best friend was supposed to go to after what he could figure of the last few texts he had received more than 6 months ago. He raised an eyebrow. Not the nicest one and a public school as well.   
Of course he could afford some better education but he was not here for this. If he wanted to he could stop going to school and concentrate only on his passion. He had another mission for which he had returned to his home country.  
The teachers welcomed him and his class teacher led him to his new class. The summer holidays were over for a week now so there were no exams and everything a bit more relaxed. He knew it was uncommon to transfer at this time of the year but he didn’t want to wait for a new school year to begin. He had to meet a certain idiotic person to make sure he was well. And to look after that certain idiotic person if needed.

~~~

There were rumours going around the school. A new student in second year they said. Someone from America they said. Hotsuma didn’t care. He stopped caring the day his parents had left him. Yes, he had turned to his best friend for help but he couldn’t get himself to call Shuusei back. He had his life there: Friends, school, his orchestra where he loved to play. He couldn’t take that from him. And when he noticed what he had become he had stopped texting Shuusei. He had looked into the mirror and was ashamed of himself. What would Shuusei think of him if he could see him now? His school uniform was torn on more than one place from his fights with other students, piercings in both ears, a pack of cigarettes in his bag. No, he could not bear to keep up the contact with Shuusei. His wonderful angel didn’t deserve someone like him.  
It was the first break when Hotsuma had decided to show up at school but only because his guardian at the orphanage threatened to cut his allowance if he kept skipping school so often.

“Usui... I think is the name. Usui Shuusei.” An excited girl’s voice chimed up on the corridor and Hotsuma froze. Shuusei? It couldn’t be. He wouldn’t return! He had a wonderful life over there!

“Oh... So he’s Japanese? I had hoped it would b a tall blonde American”, another girl piped up.

“You haven’t heard about him? He’s quite famous for his talent with the harp! I wanna know why he’s here!?”

Hotsuma decided that the lessons could wait. He had to make sure it was a mistake and that it wasn’t his Shuusei. So his steps led him to the rooms of the second year, but well... in front of one classroom almost all of the girls on this school were gathered. Hotsuma strolled slowly past them and threw a glance into the room.  
And there he was. Calm, politely smiling and as gorgeous as a man could ever be. Why? Why was he here? Hotsuma couldn’t understand! He quickly walked away and missed Shuusei spotting him behind all those girls who wanted to take a look at the new guy.

Hotsuma was on the school’s roof – forbidden territory, but here he would be alone. He needed to think. He pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his bag, lit one and took a deep pull on it.  
This was not good.  
He noticed that the door was opened and when he looked up a few moments later Shuusei was standing directly in front of him.

“Hey.” Shuusei said calmly.

“Hi.” Hotsuma replied and blew some smoke out. He felt Shuusei taking in his appearance. If he was shocked Hotsuma couldn’t tell. 

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“Why have you stopped writing me? Did you lose your phone?” Shuusei looked hurt.

“No...”

“Then why?”

“You have your life over there. You should not be here.” Hotsuma took another pull on his cigarette and blew the smoke into Shuusei’s face so that the brown haired boy started to cough.

“All I see now is that I should be nowhere else than here. Hotsuma... you can tell me if you feel terrible”, Shuusei said when he recovered from the coughing.

“And then? You should not abandon your perfect life... with your music that is so important to you”, Hotsuma said bitterly. “Return to New York.”

“There are two things in the world that are truly important for me. One is as you noticed correctly my music. The second one acts like a total idiot right now. I thought we were friends, Hotsuma... But it seems like I’m the only one who took ‘bestest friends forever’ serious.” Shuusei looked away and his voice sounded so hurt that Hotsuma didn’t know what to do. And before he could act on anything Shuusei had turned around and left visibly crestfallen.


	14. Day 14 - Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all. Everyone gets surprised today.

Day 14 – Surprises

Hotsuma was in a great mood when he entered Shuusei’s room the following Saturday afternoon. He had had a great idea and wanted to ask Shuusei if she liked it.

“Shuus...ei?? Oh my god!” His eyes were glued on his girlfriend who was wearing the blouse and the skirt they had bought together and had pinned her hair back. 

“Do... you like it?” she asked shyly.

“You are gorgeous! Really. You almost pass as a real girl. If you used just a bit of makeup... it would be a perfect”

“Do you really think so?” Shuusei looked like she didn’t completely believe him.

“Well, I’m afraid your voice doesn’t pass at all. But when I look at you, you have quite androgynous features. Your movements look a bit feminine. Also the outfit suits you and this bra creates a good illusion of... boobs.” Hotsuma scratched his cheek; he didn’t know how to talk about female anatomy without embarrassing himself or Shuusei.

Shuusei laughed and ruffled trough her boyfriend’s hair. He could be adorable. “You can be incredibly cute, you know that?” she asked and snuggled closer to him.

“No I don’t...” He held her close and brushed with his fingers through her hair. “Buuu~t Shuusei, I’ve come to ask you something.” Hotsuma changed the topic and got more serious – but still smiled.

“And what?” Shuusei seemed a bit sceptical and brought a small distance between them again so that she could look into his eyes but didn’t break the embrace completely.

“You can decline, ok?” When Shuusei nodded he continued: “My aunt and uncle have a small holiday house near Hakone. I’ve asked her if we could use it for a few days in summer. Only the two of us.”

“Only us?”

“Yup. You know, you could try out being a girl there. Nobody knows us there besides the neighbour lady. Or if you don’t want to, we could also spend a few days there together without annoying housemates and without any dresses... A few days just for us. Or not at all if you don’t like the idea.” He really didn’t want to push Shuusei, but it seemed a good opportunity for her to discover herself. He wanted to tell her about this possibility.

“And what about your aunt and uncle? Are they okay with this? I don’t want to cause them any inconvenience.”

“They will leave us alone. As long as we clean our mess up when we leave it’s okay for them to let us stay there. Don’t worry. They’re glad they can do something for me.”

“And what have you told her? To let you stay with your lover?”

“No, I told her I wanted some time with my partner to strengthen our bond in case we have to fight a Duras someday. Just Zweilt things.” Hotsuma grinned. Their relationship was only known by their housemates but the importance of the Zweilt was known to the whole clan.

“Then... it’s okay. We can go. But I decide whether I pack a dress or not.” She would need to think about this, but she liked the idea of spending some days with Hotsuma alone, far away from Tokyo to not be bothered but near enough to be back quickly in a case of emergency.

Hotsuma beamed at her approval “Nice!! Everything is fine for me. I’m glad we can go on vacation!!”

Shuusei smiled and snuggled again into Hotsuma’s arms. She really loved this man.

None of them noticed the small black ball of fur staring through the closed window in confusion and amazement.


	15. Day 15 - Tristesse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The neccessary talk to come to understand each other.

Day 15 - Tristesse

Hotsuma sank to the ground when Shuusei had left. He was completely confused. Shuusei was here. On this shabby school. He could afford a better school with better education... Had he really returned for him who felt so lost and worthless? His half smoked cigarette lay on the ground glimming slightly without being noticed. He didn’t deserve Shuusei’s presence.. he would only drag him down...   
But what had he said? Shuusei was not the only one who took their vow to be best friends forever serious. What if Shuusei were in his situation? Hotsuma would also have done everything to help him... Did Shuusei really feel the same? He needed to talk to him. But now the bell to the third lesson rang. Hotsuma got up and left the rooftop to go to his classroom. He was not motivated at all to attend the lessons but he thought about his small allowance which would be lost, if he didn’t even give the impression of trying.  
When he entered the room he got a sarcastic remark by the teacher about him showing up but he bit back a retort and sat down on his place ignoring his surroundings again and trying to grasp the fact that Shuusei was here. Sitting just one floor above him.

As soon as the bell announced the beginning of the lunch break, he stood up and walked to Shuusei’s classroom which was again crowded with girls who tried to get in contact with the famous newbie.

“Shuusei!” he called his friend and tried to enter the room when two of the girls blocked his path. 

“First of all, for you it’s Usui-senpai and second... We will not allow scum like you to talk to him”, one of the girls stated and tried to push him away.

He wanted to argue but then Shuusei stepped in and left the room. To his self-declared bodyguards he said with a cold smile: “First of all: He will call me by my first name as much as he wants to and second: I decide whom I talk to.”

He took Hotsuma’s arm and dragged him away. “What do you want?” he asked Hotsuma still with some coolness in his voice.

“Talk to you... please... You’re not the only one who took the best friends thing seriously... it’s just...” He didn’t know what to say. 

“Let’s go somewhere with no curious ears”, Shuusei decided and let go of Hotsuma’s arm.

Hotsuma nodded and led Shuusei outside into a quiet corner behind the gym. 

“Hotsuma... I was worried when you stopped writing and didn’t respond to anything... Really worried. That you might have... done something... So I came here as soon as I could.”

“Look at me... I... didn’t want you to see what I’ve become...”

Shuusei smiled sadly. “When I came back into the class they warned me of you... That you were dangerous.”

“I am...” Hotsuma stated and his hand wandered to something around his neck.

“You’re my friend Hotsuma. I don’t give a shit about other people’s opinions. When I look at you I can still see my best friend. Perhaps I should have returned much earlier... I’m sorry for leaving you all alone.”

“No... I still think you should have stayed over there...But!! ” He raised his hand for Shuusei to listen to him. “But I think I can understand you. I would have come to see you as well...”

Shuusei smiled. “That’s good. And I see you wear my necklace.” He pointed to the leather band around Hotsuma’s neck with a small wooden harp as a pendant he had given Hotsuma for his birthday many years ago when they had met at his concert.

“Of course. It’s from you! I’ve always worn it since then! The only bright thing in my life.”

Shuusei smiled and stepped towards Hotsuma to embrace him. “I’m here. And I’m glad you kept it even now when so much has happened! Will you let me help you? You’re not alone anymore.”

After a while Hotsuma nodded and put his arms around his best friend’s shoulders. “Please... help me... Don’t let me drown completely!” he begged.

“Of course. That’s what I returned for.”


	16. Day 16 - Vacation time - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it begins, the fun holidays of a couple deeply in love.

Day 16 – Vacation time

“D’you like it?” Hotsuma asked when they arrived in front of the small house which belonged to Hotsuma’s aunt. Shuusei looked around. The whole area was very green, a contrast to Tokyo. But it also seemed like it was possible to do many things here. The Ashi lake was visible from the house and on the way here Shuusei had seen several Onsen. 

“It’s beautiful” she said. “Do you think we can jump into the lake later?”

“Of course. I learned how to swim here.” Hotsuma grinned. “Come, we have to get the keys from the neighbour.” He picked up his bag again and started to walk towards the next house followed by Shuusei. He didn’t even need to knock when an old lady opened the door.   
“Hotsuma-kun! It’s been ages since I last saw you! Oh my, you have become an adult! And this is your friend Ariko-san talked about?”

“My name is Usui Shuusei; I’m honoured to meeting you.” Shuusei introduced himself and bowed before the lady.

“Oh such a polite boy. A total contrast to Hotsuma, if he hasn’t changed too much. You can call me Obaa-san like everyone else. Come in!”

“Oh we... just arrived and wanted to pick up the keys.” Hotsuma declined as politely as possible for him.

“Oh... of course. I’m sorry. May I invite you to dinner tonight? It’s a bit lonely since my dear Koutaro passed away.”

“I’m sorry for your loss. We’ll gladly come, right?” Shuusei looked at Hotsuma who nodded. 

“Of course wel’ll come, Baa-chan”, he promised.

“That’s nice. I have got your favourite fish today, Hotsuma-kun.” The old lady winked and Hotsuma beamed. 

“That’s great. We’ll come!” he promised again and took the key before the two left.

“A nice lady.” Shuusei stated.

“Yeah, She is. I haven’t been here in a while, but she’s a great cook. You’ll love her dishes!”

Shuusei smiled. It was good to see Hotsuma in such a great mood filled with happy childhood memories; a time when all worries the life of a Zweilt brought were still far away.

Hotsuma let them into his aunt’s house and led them up to the guest room which was already prepared with two futons on opposite sides of the room.

“I guess we’ll change this arrangement?” Shuusei asked smiling.

“Oh we can leave it as it is and one night we sleep in this futon and the next in that.”

Shuusei lightly hit her boyfriend on the head. “Stop that, idiot.” She grinned and pulled one of the futons next to the other.”It’s good to have some space in case you get the idea of starting to throw your limbs around again, It’s not necessary to use it all up but one futon is a bit narrow”, she stated. Content with this she started to unpack her things.

“Oh, you took the dress with you!” Shuusei asked herself how broad Hotsumas grin could become but on the other side... it was so seldom to see him so happy so she didn’t comment on it.

“I don’t know yet if I’ll wear it... but yes... I’ve taken it with me.” She said a bit nervously

“You make me happy, Shuusei! I hope you know that!” Hotsuma said and hugged her from behind. 

Shuusei put the dress into the wardrobe and turned around in his arms.   
“I know. And I’m glad to see you this happy. But... I hope you don’t expect me to wear that dress tonight.”

Hotsuma laughed. “Oh I’d love to see Baa-chan’s face when we turn up like that, but no. We don’t need to shock her with this. I don’t know what she thinks about gender things or if she had ever heard about these issues, so it’s completely okay to not wear the dress.”

He snuggled close to her and started to kiss her neck, but she gently pushed him away. 

“Not now. I’d rather look around outside now. If you’re nice I might let you seduce me later.” She winked promising and kissed him lovingly. 

“If you don’t want me to seduce you now, don’t kiss me like this. I’m just a guy and don’t forget it’s been a while since I last had you.” To be exactly since the day Shuusei had outed herself they had not been intimate with each other to get used to the new situation.

Shuusei snickered. “I know. So be a nice guy or else I may reconsider.” Shuusei’s smile had turned vicious. 

“You’re a bastard!”, Hotsuma cursed and Shuusei snickered again. 

“Heyhey, that’s not how you talk to a lady!” 

“Not to a lady... but to my sadistic girlfriend!” Hotsuma grinned and started a tickle fight, which he gloriously lost in the end. Shuusei was too fast and skilful in avoiding his attacks.

Shuusei grinned triumphantly and got up. “Come on. Show me the surroundings and then we’ll jump into the lake.”

Hotsuma shook his head with a wide smile. He really enjoyed seeing Shuusei filled with so much energy.


	17. Day 17 - Boléro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The composer of today’s chapter title is Maurice Ravel. I just love the piece so it stays the title although it doesn’t fit to the heaviness this chapter had developed. It was supposed to be light nd fluffy as the piece... Now see how it had turned out...

Day 17 – Boléro

“Don’t you eat?” Shuusei asked suddenly. “I’m quite hungry.”

“I’m tight on money and didn’t prepare something”, Hotsuma shrugged. 

“Really? I don’t start the discussion that you could invest your smoking money into food, don’t worry. Come, I invite you. Is there something edible in the canteen here?”

“You... don’t mind me smoking?” Hotsuma asked.

“I can’t say I like it because I don’t. But I guess I can’t change it. I told myself I’d accept you whatever you might have become. I’m here to help you not to play the moralizer. Just don’t blow your smoke into my face ever again or I’ll get really, really angry.”

“I’m sorry...”

“It’s ok. You haven’t answered my question about the food.” 

Shuusei really didn’t want to make it a big deal of it for which Hotsuma was really thankful. He had heard it too often that people wanted to force him to stop, which only led to his rebellion.  
“I guess you’re used to better meals... “

“As long as there’s nothing alive in it... Would you show me the way?” 

Hotsuma nodded and led Shuusei to a separate building where the students could get their lunch and as promised Shuusei paid for Hotsuma’s meal.

“Hotsuma...?” They were sitting alone at a table. No one dared to ask for a seat next to the most rebellious student no matter if the very interesting newbie was with him.

“Hm?” Hotsuma was devouring his portion of Curry rice as if he hadn’t eaten in days. 

“I... don’t know how to start this more comfortably... So I just say it as it is... I would like you to try to attend school more regularly. You’re just pleasing most of the others when you’re skipping school.”

“Oh... have your classmates told you how bad I am at school?” Hotsuma asked sarcastically and put his spoon aside. “It’s not as easy as it seems.”

“They have. And I’d like to hear your reasons. I don’t judge you Hotsuma. Please trust me.” Shuusei asked kindly. “I want to know what happened and why you are the way you are.”

“Well... I don’t know?” Hotsuma said. He had never analyzed his behaviour too much. And the one time he had was the day he had stopped talking to Shuusei.

“Let me try: First you lost your motivation for anything and then nobody helped you find into all the stuff again? So school became worse than ever for you and why should you attend, if no one is even willing to help you get into it again? ”

“Shuusei... you’re frightening!” Hotsuma stared at his friend almost shocked. Had Shuusei just found words for all the things that had happened in his mind? Although they had seen each other once in the last ten years?! Could that guy read minds?

“You’re not the first to say that... You’re an open book for me, Hotsuma. And you’ve always been. What do you think about meeting on weekends for an hour of learning and then you show me Tokyo’s interesting places?”

Hotsuma looked at Shuusei suspiciously. “When you say an hour...”

“I totally mean it, unless you yourself want to go on. And you stop skipping school.”

Hotsuma thought about it. “You demand much...”

“I know. But I ask you in all seriousness: Are you happy the way it is right now? Do you enjoy your life as it is?”

Hotsuma could only deny. 

“See?”

~~~

The day passed and another day began. And although Hotsuma had not promised to skip school as he liked he was in his classroom on time for the first lesson. He didn’t pay attention to the teacher... He didn’t understand anything anyways. But he was present even though his mind told him the day before had been just a dream and Shuusei was still in America. Why should he be here? There was no reason for this gentle angel to come here for a hopeless case like Hotsuma. 

Nevertheless in the first break he went to the second years’ classrooms to make sure. He wanted to see the hard truth, confirm that he was still alone. But he didn’t reach the room. The class teacher of one of the second years’ stepped in his way.

“Renjou!” The man looked at him sternly. It was not the first time he had an argument with Hotsuma due to his smoking habit.

“What?” Hotsuma asked annoyed.

“Stay away from Usui-kun. You will not drag him down.”

“I... What the fuck? I’ll never do that!” Hotsuma was totally taken aback by this request.

“I will not allow you to ruin his life with your terrible demeanour. Stay away from him.”

“And what....”

“And what if I won’t stay away from him, Sensei? I think it’s still my decision who will keep me company.” Shuusei stepped up to them and looked straight at his class teacher full of a strange calm self-confidence despite his very polite way of talking. “And don’t worry. I don’t think he’ll ever manage to drag me down. Come Hotsuma. Let’s go outside.” 

Shuusei smiled at his friend who followed him a bit confused. He didn’t know this side of his best friend at all. It was still his best friend. The guy he’d been writing and texting most of his life. But to have him in reality... Hotsuma was amazed by how mature a boy half a year older than him could seem. He really needed to get to know him better. Especially since Shuusei seemed to know exactly what was on his mind. It was a bit unfair.


	18. Day 18 - Vacation time - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapters grow in length and I’m happy I have now more time to write that school’s over for this year. Prepare for vacation, prepare fot tooth-rotting fluff!!! And for decisions.

Day 18 – Vacation time - Part 2

The week in Hakone flew by. They went swimming almost every day, took long walks through the near forests talking about everything on their minds, and went to different museums and one of the onsen. It was a week where they grew closer than ever in every aspect of their relationship. The time here helped Shuusei to relax and open up more to her boyfriend and Hotsuma seemed to care for her even more than before.  
And they also grew closer in the physical way. Hotsuma had proven more than enough that he loved her no matter what and now she could finally relax in his arms and start to enjoy the intimate moments. She was still insecure but also felt safe with this man who cared for her in every possible way. After those few days Shuusei could only say that she loved him more than ever before.

It was their last day in Hakone. Tomorrow they would have to return to Tokyo and they had planned to spend a lazy day in town. Hotsuma was surprised and more than happy to see his girlfriend exit the bathroom wearing her green summer dress. 

“Uhh, hello beautiful!” he greeted her, gallantly took her hand and kissed it. “Would you mind accompanying me today?”

“Idiot!” Shuusei smiled fondly and kept his hand in hers. “Let’s go.”

She was a bit self-conscious. After all it was her first time outside the house in feminine clothes. Until now she had only worn her dresses around Hotsuma. But she knew exactly that her beloved would never allow anyone to harm her in any way. So it would be okay, right?

They had lunch in a small restaurant. To keep the illusion alive Hotsuma ordered for Shuusei as well so that she would not have to talk and give away her biological gender. After that they entered a few stores to buy some souvenirs for their housemates and when they felt it was enough they returned home.

But when they approached the house, they noticed the old neighbour lady also just arriving. Shuusei gulped. She didn’t feel ready for other people to know about her...  
Hotsuma smiled at her and squeezed her hand lightly. He would be there for her no matter what happened.

The old lady looked at Shuusei confusedly but then she recognized her and a strange stern expression appeared on her face. 

“Good afternoon you two.” She greeted and Shuusei and Hotsuma returned it Shuusei visibly timid.

“You should have introduced yourself with your true name and pronouns. I may be old but not out of this world. So, may I know how I should really address you?” She asked in an almost demanding tone.

“Wh...” Shuusei was completely taken aback. She had not expected such a reaction at all. 

“Wait... Baa-chan... What does that mean?” Hotsuma intervened. He felt Shuusei needed a bit of time to cope with a foreign person to see her real self.

“You remember my grandchild?” Obaa-san asked.

“Rinko-chan?”

“He goes by Ruito now. He doesn’t visit often. The rural people are not open to diversity. But he calls me regularly.”

“Oh... I see. It must have been hard for him.”

Obaa-san nodded. “But he’s happy now and has s nice boyfriend who stays by his side.”

“That’s nice to hear.” Hotsuma looked at Shuusei to see how comfortable she was with the situation and how much she would like to give away. But she seemed quite okay. “We came here to give Shuusei a chance to test out how it feels to be a girl. She’s not out to anyone but me.” 

“Oh, I see. Then excuse my rudeness earlier, Shuusei-chan.” The old lady used the suffix as if asking whether this was correct and Shusuei smiled a bit. 

“I’m sorry, Obaa-san. It’s just...”

“It’s all right my child. It’s hard to come out. I’ve been through this all with my grandson. So it’s still Shuusei but female pronouns?”

Shuusei nodded. She didn’t want to give away how insecure she felt with everything and the old lady didn’t ask questions. 

“Okay, now that this is clear... I wanted to invite you for tonight again. You’ll leave tomorrow, right?”

Hotsuma looked at Shuusei silently asking her to decide, how comfortable she felt. She took a deep breath then nodded. “Okay. We’ll come.” She agreed. 

~~~

“I’m very proud of you!” Hotsuma said when they returned to his aunt’s house late that night and pulled Shuusei into his arms as soon as the front door was closed. It had been a very pleasant evening. Obaa-san had once again proven her great cooking skills and she had told them more about her grandson and his transition. And she had given Shuusei his number so that they could perhaps get in contact. 

“I... don’t know... I feel exhausted.” She admitted.

“I know. This was hard for you.” He knew her well enough to know that no matter how nice Obaa-san had been, this whole evening had been very stressful for his sensitive girlfriend. “But you did great.” He gently kissed her and held it for some moments without any further intentions. Tonight Shuusei needed warmth and not passion.

“Nee... Hotsuma?” Hesitantly Shuusei looked into his eyes.

“Yes, love?” patiently he waited for her to sort out her thoughts and being ready to tell him what was on her mind.

“When... we come home... I want to tell the others. Today was nice... I felt like myself a bit more than ever before...”

Hotsuma grinned. “Okay. You know, anyone picking on you for who you are will be punished. In the name of the moon!”

Shuusei looked into his eyed disbelieving then started to laugh. “You’re terrible Hotsuma!” she complained.

“I know. I may just love you a bit too much!” he grinned and she pecked him on the lips.

“I love you, too. And... Hotsuma...”

“Hm?” He had her close again his head rested on her shoulders.

“I’m not completely sure yet... And I will need your help... but... perhaps, only perhaps... I’d like to start transitioning someday...”

He looked into her eyes surprised. “Really?”

“As I said... It felt quite nice being in town like this today and being looked at as I am... And I don’t want to regret anything.”

Hotsuma’s smile now was gentle, loving and he caressed her cheek. “I will go every step with you. Every single step you choose to go. You’re not alone.” He knew he repeated himself, but he would say these words as often as she needed to hear them.


	19. Day 19 - Träumerei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today’s title, “Träumerei” is a part of Schumann’s “Kinderszenen. I chose the tite because we get a scene similar to chapter one. In short this chapter covers a study session and parts of Shuusei’s current situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I run out of space!!! *cries* so much left to write and only two more chapters for this story… I hope i can still manage to make this a halfway round story until the end of the challenge… Well it’s good for you, since you can enjoy relatively long chapters.

Day 19 – Träumerei

“I don’t understand this bullshit” Hotsuma complained. It was their first study session together. “Can’t we stop and you play me something on your harp?”

After school that Saturday Shuusei had accompanied Hotsuma home first with the intention to learn there but the other orphaned youths living in the house which had become Hotsuma’s new home – a place he could not all a home - were also present and Shuusei had quickly decided that it was too loud to concentrate on anything. So he had asked the advisor if it would be okay if they could go to Shuusei’s house.  
So they were now sitting in Shuusei’s neat room in the apartment he shared with his father. Only the essentials could be found in the room – of course, he had just moved here after all – as well as a tall concert harp the boy could not part with.

“I’ll play something for you, when we are ready here.” Shuusei replied and pointed on Hotsuma’s homework. “Come on. The more you complain the longer we will have to do this.”

Hotsuma grumbled and tried to find concentration for the stuff. “But I really don’t get it... Why do I use x here and not z?”

Shuusei looked at the maths problem again. “Okay... Put it away... It’s useless. Wait a sec. We’ll start somewhere else.” Shuusei got up and left the room feeling Hotsumas confused look on his back.

When he returned he had some books in his hands. “These are my old books. We’ll start at an earlier point where this x and z thing is explained.” Shuusei opened the book and put it before Hotsuma. “Here. Read this.”, he asked.

“It’s... English... Shuusei. How shall I understand bullshit I don’t get in a language I don’t know?”

Shuusei sighed deeply. Half an hour of learning and he started to understand how much it was that Hotsuma was missing. It would become a hard task to catch up. “Okay...” He took the book and translated the English text into Japanese. And then he explained everything again in his own words. And after that solved an example together with Hotsuma. “Do you think you can solve me another one?” Shuusei asked after they got the correct answer.

“I’ll try. I’m sorry Shuusei... That I’m so dumb... You must think I’m a complete retard. I’m so sorry!” Hotsuma apologized feeling completely useless and unworthy for Shuuseis patient attention.

“No. You’re not dumb. You just missed too much in the middle that you can’t know how it works in the end. Just solve me the next problem, please” Shuusei smiled to encourage his friend and Hotsuma admired his patience with him.

“I’ll tune the harp but you solve the problem. If you don’t there will be no private concert for you, ok?” Shuusei told him and after Hotsuma had nodded in defeated Shuusei went to his instrument to work on it to sound perfectly.   
When he was done he noticed Hotsuma staring at him. “Do you have a question?”

“No, I’m ready. But you looked so concentrated I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Shuusei got back and looked over the numbers Hotsuma had written.

“Very good. See, you’re not dumb. Do you understand now why you have to use x in your homework?”

Hotsuma nodded. “I think so. Can we try that stuff now again?”

“If you want to. Of course we can.” Shuusei had planned to release Hotsuma from school stuff for today but if he wanted to go on, Shuusei would not stop him.

So when Hotsumas homework was finished Shuusei smiled very contently. “That was good. I think you can have your comeback at school.”

“Hey this was only maths... That used to be one of my strongest subjects... until... that day...” Hotsumas voice got very quiet at the end of his sentence.

“Nevertheless... I’m proud of you. You’ve earned your reward. Shuusei gently patted Hotsuma’s head. “I’ll get some new tea and you can think of things you wanna hear.” Shuusei got up again and left the room.

When he returned he found Hotsuma in front of his CD collection. Shuusei smiled a bit at Hotsumas disbelieving face when he looked at some of the discs. Also a common reaction of people who found out about his taste in music.

“Be careful with this one.” Shuusei said when he noticed which album Hotsuma held in his hand. It was signed and very dear to Shuusei.

“You... listen to hard rock? And metal?” Hotsuma seemed almost shocked. 

“Did you think just because I love my instrument I only listen to classical music?” Shuusei looked at Hotsuma mockingly and the blonde boy turned a bit red.

“No, I like many kinds of music, except perhaps from Jazz or Blues.” Shuusei smirked and got to his harp. “Guess.” He said and started to play. 

At first Hotsuma looked at his friend full of question marks in his face but when he recognized the song his eyes started to sparkle. He put the CD away and sat down on the floor listening intently to Shuusei’s play.

“I didn’t know you could play the Poets of the Fall on a harp!” Hotsuma stated excitedly. 

“You can play almost everything on a harp.” Shuusei said and started another song which Hotsuma recognized much faster. And soon after without any of them noticing it was almost the same as ten years before. Shuusei playing his harp and Hotsuma lying on the floor listening full of joy. Whenever Shuusei looked at his friend he could clearly see who he was beneath his cold exterior and he vowed to himself to dig the old Hotsuma out a bit more. He wanted to see his bright smile again.

They were interrupted when Shuusei’s father came home from work.

“Good afternoon boys”, he said while entering the room after knocking on the door. Shuusei stopped to play and Hotsuma got up. 

“Nice to see you again, Hotsuma-kun. Shuusei was very worried about you.”

“Usui-san. I’m sorry that you had to return with Shuusei because of me...”

“No it’s not that. I wanted to come back nevertheless. Will you stay for dinner?”

“I don’t want to bother you...” 

“You don’t Hotsuma. Stay. I’ll explain to your advisors.” Shuusei smiled clearly not wanting him to go.

“Okay...” Hotsuma agreed and Shuusei’s father nodded contently before he left the room.

“May... I ask what’s with your mom? Didn’t she come with you?”

Shuusei got a sad look in his eyes. “No. She wanted to stay in New York. She said she loved the freedom women had in the States and didn’t want to go back. We couldn’t convince her... And... I had the feeling things between her and dad were not that well either...”

“Oh... I’m sorry... Shuusei... Your family has broken apart because of me...”

“Pff... As if it’s your fault... Even before you stopped texting me I had the feeling my parents drifted apart from each other. They are not divorced so there is a chance of them to come back... But for now this arrangement was the best solution. Don’t blame yourself. It was my wish to come back. I’m the only responsible for this situation. And I would have come back one way or the other. I wanted to attend a Japanese university. I missed this land you know.” Shuusei boxed Hotsuma in the side. “It’s not your fault okay?”

Hotsuma nodded but seemed not completely convinced.

“Soooo, since we stayed here the whole day... would you show me some cool places to hang out tomorrow?” Shuusei changed the topic. They could talk about these things later.

“Of course. If I don’t bother you. Where would you want to go?”

“If you show me the Tokyo Tower and temples I’ll hit you. Hard. Show me your favourite places.” Shuusei asked. He really didn’t want Hotsuma to perceive him as a boring guy only interested in things like classical music and cultural things. 

“Okay.”

“Then.. I’ll pick you up at 11? Or are you still asleep then?”

“... You know me... but 11 is okay.”

“Then half past.” Shuusei decided to give Hotsuma some time for himself. “Come, dinner should be almost ready. Dad is not the best cook so it will be something simple.”

“What do you eat then usually?”

“What I cook.”

“You can cook?”

“Yup. Next time, Hotsuma. I will not run away again.” 

Hotsuma smiled at his best friend. He was really glad that Shuusei was back in his life. Although it was a bit scary that only Shuusei’s presence was enough for him to fight on.


	20. Day 20 - Outing Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at home Shuusei takes the next step on her way to be who she really is.

Day 20 – Outing again

A warm welcome awaited them as they returned home. Everyone – the other Zweilt and all of the other inhabitants of this house – were assembled besides Takashiro who was again somewhere else minding clan business. Shuusei was not unhappy about his absence. She couldn’t estimate how open he would be if he learned the one of the supposedly male Zweilts wanted to be a female.

“Welcome home!” everyone greeted them as they entered the house. 

“You look good!” Yuki stated. “So your vacation was nice?”

“It was great! We had so much fun!” Hotsuma grinned and Yuki hugged both of them followed by everyone else. Only Sodom seemed a bit hesitant to hug Shuusei. 

“Is something wrong Sodom?” Shuusei asked cautiously. Had she done something to him? She had noticed that the dragon ad been a bit distant from her before their vacation. But Sodom shook his head grinned and jumped into her arms.

“No! Everything’s fine!” The dragon said and jumped down again. Shuusei just shook her head. 

Then she looked at her boyfriend and noted the look in his eyes and soon understood what he meant. They had everyone together. Should she really tell them right now? They had not even put their bags away. Hotsuma took her hand and smiled at her as encouragement. He was right; there would be no better opportunity.

“Guys... I... need to tell you something.” She started.

“What? You’re pregnant?” Kuroto joked as they all shuffled to the couch group to talk more comfortably. “Didn’t your fine lover pay attention?”

“Very funny, black bean! That’s not possible!” Hotsuma shot back and only Shuusei could hear him add “sadly” when she sat down on his lap. She needed his support right now. 

“So, what do you want to tell us?” Yuki asked kindly ignoring the two hot-heads.

Of course Shuusei had thought about how to tell them half the night and almost the whole train ride back. But now in this situation her head was empty the fitting words seemed to avoid her. 

She held Hotsuma’s hand tightly in hers and tried not to lose her nerves. But luckily Hotsuma noted her struggles and tried to jumped in.

“Well... the thong is...” But before he found the correct words, Touko started to guess.

“Can it be... that you’re transgender, Shuusei?” She asked kindly. And Shuusei was a bit shocked. Where had she given herself away? 

“What? How... do you know?”

“So it’s true?” Kuroto seemed shocked about that revelation. 

“Yes. I’m a girl. And I want you to acknowledge that fact and treat me that way.” Shuusei stated hiding her nervousness. Only Hotsuma could clearly feel it due to Shuusei nearly squeezing his hand numb.

“What the fuck? That’s not right. Either you’re a boy or a girl. It’s impossible to switch!” Kuroto seemed not to accept the new facts.

“Oi! Black bean! Pull yourself together! Either you accept her as she is or we have a big problem with each other.” Hotsuma spat in his direction and would have jumped up if he didn’t have his girlfriend sitting on him.

“I am not obligated to accept anything!” Kuroto stood up and left the room. 

Senshirou stood up to follow his partner but before he also left he smiled at Shuusei. 

“I’ll talk to him. Relax, Shuusei-chan. He’ll understand.” At least one half of this couple accepted her. 

Soon after they left Shuusei looked at the others. So... you did know?” she asked quietly.

“Yes... But we wanted to wait until you’d be ready to tell us”, Touko said. “You know... a few weeks ago our dear dragon here” – she pointed to Sodom – “came to us completely confused and told us about having seen you in a dress. So we didn’t know but assumed it. It just felt wrong to confront you with it.”

“And it’s okay for all of us.” Tsukumo added with a gentle smile.

“Live it out in this house. We’ll support you Shuu-chan!” The cook added. “And Kuroto will also accept you at last.”

Touko stood up from her place and stood before Shuusei. “Sorry Hotsuma, I need to hug your girlfriend right now. No need to be jealous.” She said and slowly Shuusei stood up to allow it. “I’m glad to have another girl here now.” Touko said quietly to her. “Really. If you want someone to talk to about girl things, I’m here for you. There are things boys simply don’t understand.”

“Thank you Touko.” Shuusei had tears in her eyes from these warm words. And now everyone wanted to hug her – besides Luka who just nodded at her with a rare smile – and show their support and acceptance. When everyone was done Shuusei was crying overwhelmed by her feelings so that Hotsuma was the last one to embrace her warmly and give her some time to calm down again.

“So now that you know, I think we will take our things upstairs and rest a bit.” He decided.

“But we want to see your dress as well Shuusei!” Touko exclaimed after them.

“I...”

“Give her time. She’ll do everything in her own pace!” Hotsuma shouted back and shook his head. Just because she had told their housemates did not mean she would present completely feminine from now on. She was still figuring herself out after all.

When they arrived at Shuusei’s room they let their bags fall to the ground and Hotsuma embraced his still emotional girlfriend. “Shh, everything’s all right. It went well. And that Kuroto will also accept you. Believe me.”

“I don’t want do see anyone get hurt because of it, ok?” Shuusei asked and Hotsuma smiled. 

“Of course, darling.”


	21. Day 21 - Eine kleine Nachtmusik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A promise needs to be kept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s title is from Mozart. I thought it fit to the situation.

Day 21 – Eine kleine Nachtmusik

First row, sadly at the side. But with a good view to the harp. Hotsuma grinned. At last he could keep his promise to watch his best friend play his harp on a concert from the first row. And one of the pieces performed tonight would be harp-centred. He was as nervous as Shuusei must feel backstage; after all it was his first time performing for audience in several months. He sat down on his assigned seat, took out his phone and played a game until the concert began, trying to ignore the fading pain in his face from a fight he’d gotten into the day before yesterday.

~~~

About two weeks ago, they were sitting under a Sakura tree at one of their favourite childhood spots after school and enjoyed the early autumn air, when Shuusei got a call. He instantly switched into English as he accepted it so Hotsuma could not understand a word besides some “Yes” and “okay” and see his friend’s face lighting up. It seemed to be good news. 

“What’s up?” Hotsuma asked pulling on a cigarette, and of course paying attention that he was sitting so that Shuusei would not have to smell the smoke.

“My old orchestra is on tour again. There will be two performances in Japan; the first is in Kyoto and the second here in Tokyo. And their new harpist can’t play those two concerts due to family business. So they just asked me if I wanted to take her place for these two evenings.” Shuusei grinned. His answer was obvious. “And I asked for a ticket for you for both performances.”

“I hope in the first row?” Hotsuma grinned as well. That was indeed very good news. 

“Of course. They’ll see what’s still possible. But, my dear Hotsuma, this also means I’ll have to practice every day starting the moment I receive the sheets. I don’t want to embarrass myself and the whole orchestra.” Shuusei said. This was not a small performance for school or family. This was a real thing so he had to be well prepared.

“You won’t. You’re a genius with the harp!!!” Hotsuma said but of course he understood that Shuusei would need time to prepare. 

So the following weekend their study session was cancelled, but Hotsuma nevertheless showed up at Shuusei’s house just to listen to him and his instrument. And stern tutor that Shuusei was he had forced Hotsuma to read at least his Japanese homework. 

Sadly Hotsuma’s guardian had only allowed him to see the Tokyo performance. Hotsuma had tried to convince him to let him go to Kyoto as well but since Kyoto was the day before Tokyo Hotsuma would only risk his ticket for the Tokyo show if he went to Kyoto without permission. And Shuusei would also become angry with him if he disobeyed in that matter.

~~~

But now was the concert in Tokyo. It was a Friday evening; Shuusei had missed school since Tuesday afternoon due to the preparations for the concerts and Hotsuma had felt a bit on the edge without his guardian angel by his side – not that he’d ever let Shuusei hear this title. And that was how he had gotten into that fight with some neighbourhood douchebags. He had been in a bad mood, one provocation led to the next and now Hotsuma was sitting in a concert hall with a black eye among some hundred posh ladies and gentlemen.   
He wore his best clothes which still lacked the elegance of everything the other spectators wore, but he simply didn’t own a suit and really lacked the money to buy one. So this red dress shirt with black jeans had to be enough. Sadly the Jeans had a hole on the left thigh from another fight Hotsuma had accidentally gotten into before Shuusei’s return but he really hadn’t found anything else in his wardrobe to fit this occasion.

But now the musicians entered the stage and like last time Hotsuma’s eyes were glued on Shuusei who noticed him at once. They smiled at each other before Shuusei took a deep breath. He had texted him last night that yesterday’s concert went well although two times he missed a note.

Hotsuma listened to the instruments and enjoyed the music he usually didn’t listen to. But this was Shuusei’s concert! He finally could keep his promise from ten years ago and Hotsuma felt happier than the last few years. Of course some people stared at him and his ripped jeans and face injury but he didn’t care. He wasn’t here to make a good impression; he was here to listen to his best friend’s music.  
After the harp-centred piece Hotsuma applauded the loudest. In his opinion Shuusei had done great! Especially because he had had only two weeks of preparation. 

After the concert ended, he left the hall and went to the backstage exit where he wanted to meet up with Shuusei. Since it had gotten late he would accompany his best friend home and have a sleepover.   
He was leaning at a wall smoking when he could hear Shuusei’s voice talking to someone in English. He seemed a bit displeased. 

“Okay, think what you want. I don’t agree”, he heard Shuusei say when he stepped out of the slightly open door, already changed into casual wear, his smoking in a suit bag over his arm, followed by a guy a bit taller than him but not much older. Hotsuma dropped the cigarette-stub and walked over.

“Wait, Shuusei, that’s that guy! This is your childhood friend? I thought you hated smokers! And people who tend to get themselves into trouble!?” The guy at Shuusei’s side seemed aghast but Shuusei ignored him, stepped up to Hotsuma to examine his eye. Hotsuma had already confessed the fight to Shuusei right after it had happened, so he was prepared.

“Pretty. You should wear this more often.” Shuusei teased before getting more serious. “Is that everything or do you have other injuries?”

“Just a few bruises. Nothing serious. Don’t worry.” Shuusei nodded and turned back to the other guy.

“Eban, this is Hotsuma Renjou. My best friend. Hotsuma, this is Eban J. Hammond. A... friend.” Hotsuma noticed the short halt but decided not to ask for the moment.

“Nice to meet you.” Hotsuma said with a very heavy accent. English was really not his strength.

“We’ll see if it’s nice. Shuusei, I don’t like letting you go with this guy.”

“Oh, as I said, I don’t care what you think of him. You don’t have to like him, but he is my friend and will always stay my friend.” Hotsuma didn’t understand most of the conversation. It took a while so he lit another cigarette carefully watching out to spare Shuusei from the smoke. Only Shuusei. The other guy could bathe in it. Hotsuma really didn’t feel the need to get along with someone who so clearly implied they didn’t like him.  
But soon after Hotsuma had finished his smoke, Shuusei and that Eban-guy came to an end and Shuusei beckoned Hotsuma to follow him home.

“You’ve got interesting... friends...” Hotsuma said on the way to the train station.

“Oh he is nice but a bit stiff. He noticed you in the audience and didn’t like someone with piercings, ripped jeans and a black eye in a concert hall. He thinks only ‘decent’ people deserve attending our concerts. You can get along with him when you fit in his picture of a civilized human being. Oh, but by the way I like your outfit”, Shuusei smiled and took Hotsuma’s hand.

“Thanks. But then there is no way he and I can get along. I don’t like people who look down on others just because they are different either.” Hotsuma was surprised about the sudden contact but didn’t pull his hand away. 

“But.. Shuusei?” Hotsuma started reluctantly after a while when they were waiting for their train.

“Yes?”

“I... don’t mean to be nosey and you don’t have to answer but... when you introduced him to me... you hesitated a bit...”

Shuusei smiled. “Well... We had a thing going on...” He admitted and looked at Hotsuma. “Nothing serious. You can’t really call it a relationship but... well...”

Now Hotsuma let go of Shuusei’s hand. “So... you’re gay?”

Shuusei shrugged but looked away. “I hope you don’t have a problem with that?”

“N... no of course not... I’m just surprised. I thought you’d like pretty girls...”

“I like talking to girls. Some of them at least; the ones who don’t just want a trophy guy. But I can’t imagine dating one.”

“I see. You’re really an interesting guy. I’m glad you’re back.”

“And not with some greasy guy from the orchestra?” Shuusei teased. “Are you jealous?” 

“You wish!” Hotsuma laughed but deep inside he felt a tiny jealous sting. So Shuusei had already been with someone even if he didn’t consider it a relationship. Somehow Hotsuma didn’t really like that fact. But his thoughts were interrupted by the train that stopped in front of them and due to the late hour it was almost empty.

“Now tell me about you? What kind of people do you like?” Shuusei asked curiously after they had found two empty seats.

“I... don’t know. I have not defined myself...” Hotsuma admitted. There had only been one person in his life that really mattered to him. And he hadn’t really thought about dating anyone. Every person he knew was annoying. “There was no one until now who caught my interest. Neither boy nor girl.” Except that one person and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to date that person or just stay his friend. It was really nice at it was right now.

“I see. I think it’s not necessary to put a label on yourself if you don’t want to. As long as you stay yourself it’s fine.” Shuusei smiled kindly and yawned. “Sorry... the past days were tiring.”

“It’s okay, Shuusei. Rest a bit.” Hotsuma said and shortly after he felt how Shuusei’s head rested on his shoulder and the other boy had closed his eyes. It was a nice feeling.


	22. Day 22 - Pillow talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some pillow talk. I have to make sure the M-rating stays justified xD

Day 22 – Pillow Talk

The room was dark. Only moon and stars were slightly illuminating the room and barely reached the bed which was anything but quiet. The sounds of ruffling bed sheets originated by two naked bodies passionately sliding against each other filled the room accompanied by quiet sighs, moans and vows of love and passion. 

“Hnngh.. Hotsuma... I’m close!” Shuusei moaned and pulled her lover into another short-breathed kiss. She had now completely lost her shyness of physical contact and enjoyed Hotsuma’s passion completely. 

“Shuusei...” Hotsuma’s hand around both their arousals moved a bit more quickly indicating the near climax of their love-making.

It was only a matter of very few minutes until Hotsuma collapsed next to his girlfriend and snuggled close to her throwing one arm over her sweaty body. Both of them were breathing heavily but seemed very content with each other. 

“You know I love you, right, Shuusei?” Hotsuma asked quietly into the now almost silent room.

“Of course, dumbass. I would not do these things with someone who doesn’t love me.” Shuusei answered gently caressing Hotsuma’s hair. 

“Good. I just wanted to make sure.”

Shuusei shook her head. “You prove everyday that you do. There is no way for me to forget your feelings.” The smile was audible in her voice. She really had the cutest idiot at her side and she would not want it any other way. She closed her eyes, her fingers still brushing through her boyfriend’s hair as she felt his hand moving over her stomach and resting on her chest. 

“The hormones seem to work! You’re getting rounder.” Hotsuma said and kissed her shoulder while moving his hand over her chest. When he looked down her body in this dim light there was no doubt of it. Her formerly flat chest was developing two small bulges of fat. It was now two months ago that Shuusei had started a hormone replacement therapy and she seemed happy with it. The day she had told their housemates about her real gender was also the day she decided to let her hair grow out a bit more. Not too much; she could still pass as both genders which was still necessary at school where she didn’t risk an outing at the moment. But at home she now presented completely feminine and was accepted that way. Hotsuma was really proud of her. She seemed to find peace with herself and seemed content with her life which made him happy as well.

“What do you mean with that? Are you saying I’m getting fat?” She laughed, detached herself from her lover and towered over him. “That’s also something you should never say to a girl!” She stated and started to tickle him.

“No!!! Mercy!!” Hotsuma shouted and coiled up beneath her to avoid her attacks. “I’m saying ... you’re getting Ahhh.... stop it!!! ... more feminine! HAAHH!! And more beautiful!” he tried to defend himself and escape her which was futile. He would always succumb to her.

“Really?” Shuusei asked sceptically but paused her attacks to let him catch his breath. He looked up to her and smiled. 

“Of course. For me you’re the most beautiful girl on this planet! And I’m happy to see that this girl is now starting to show on the outside. Here...” He stretched his hand out to caress her hipbones which also gained a little bit more fat and seemed rounder. “And here.” His other hand cupped her still barely visible breast which he caressed with his thumb. “I’m happy to witness this.” He smiled at her. And knew he had won as her posture relaxed and she came to rest on top of him.

“You can be too cute...” she said and kissed him gently.

“Nee... Shuusei...” He got a bit more serious while he gently brushed through her hair.

“What?” she asked curiously.

“Do... you intend to change your gender in the family register?”

“What? Why do you ask?” She was not prepared for talks like this. So he pulled her into another kiss to calm her down.

“I was just wondering because... you know... I may or may not like to marry you some day... And that’s impossible if you stay a guy officially...” He said and looked away. This... was not how he had intended to ask her... but now it was out. “Only if you want to of course. If not, it’s okay. I’ll stay at your side no matter what happens until the day I die or you don’t want me anymore.”

Shuusei stared at him disbelieving. Then she slowly shook her head and he already thought she’d decline but then she started to snicker and then laugh.   
“Oh my god, Hotsuma! You’re such an idiot! What shall I do with you? That was the worst proposal I can imagine...” She couldn’t stop laughing for a while and Hotsuma felt worse. He knew exactly that soon the whole house would know about this. Shuusei and Touko loved to talk about their partners’ slip ups during their shared baths. And Touko would tell Tsukumo and then it was only a matter of time... 

He was completely caught n these terrifying thoughts so that he almost missed her quiet “Of course I want to marry you. I can’t let anyone else have such a wonderful idiot.”

Hotsuma felt his cheeks burn. Would she ever stop teasing him like this? He had his doubts.

“But I’ll let you wait a bit”, she confined. “I want to look like a real woman on my wedding day. Not only with clothes but also without. I think we’ll both be older than legal wedding age until that has happened. You don’t care I know that, but I do.”

Hotsuma grinned and kissed her again. “I’m completely fine with that”, he reassured her between two kisses. And he just continued kissing her. At this moment he considered himself the happiest man in this universe. He knew he’d have to wait a few years until his beautiful fiancée would be ready to set a date, but that didn’t matter. He was happy that she now started to lose her fear of the future and began to make plans which could not be realized within the next few days. “I love you Shuusei. I really do!”

“I know. I love you, too.” She smiled at him and kissed him deeply.

“Shuusei?” he asked cautiously after they separated again for air. “... Do you mind if we... go again?” It was late at night, the moon had almost wandered out of the open window frame and left the room almost completely dark, when Shuusei only nodded and huddled herself closer to him to engage in another passionate dance of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two days left to finish the project. Will I reach the goal or will I fail shortly before the finish line? Sooo much to do besides writing x.x


	23. Day 23 - Liebesleid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Totay’s title ia a violin piece by Fritz Kreisler. Shuusei has to face the admiration of one too many females.

Day 23 – Liebesleid

Of course the next week Shuusei’s concert was a hot topic at school. Hotsuma had not been the only one from their school who had seen it. And Shuusei’s success had increased his popularity again. It was hardly possible to have a quiet break together because always some girls approached him, most of them trying to get Shuusei to talk to them instead of Hotsuma. And of course Hotsuma was envied by all of Shuusei’s admirers. He received pointy comments or open threats to keep him away from Shuusei which he mostly ignored. Or he threatened the girls himself which always succeeded. He was well known at school for never shying away of fights and beating others up, which was only a bit exaggerated. He had never beaten up someone with no experience who didn’t explicitly ask for it.

And Shuusei received more than enough love confessions which he all declined as politely as possible. 

“5...” he stated on Friday during their lunch break. He had started to prepare his own food and to disappear with Hotsuma or else he would not get to eat at all.

“5? There are not many girls left who have not yet confessed their love to you.”

“Oh some have come two or three times already... As if that would change anything.” Shuusei sighed and picked single rice grains out of his lunch box.

“If you don’t eat, I’ll eat your lunch. It looks delicious.” Hotsuma threatened. 

“You have your own food.” Shuusei knew well that Hotsuma had little money left to buy food and didn’t have the time to prepare something so Shuusei usually prepared something for his friend as well.

“Nope. Not anymore. See?” Hotsuma showed him his empty lunch box with a sheepish grim.

“What? Finished already? Where do you keep that food? From what you eat you should be fat and round.” Shuusei asked and pinched Hotsuma’s side who squeaked surprised.

“I don’t complain. Also I really like home made food.”

“Your advisors cook for and with you as well.”

“But it’s not as good as yours... Thank you by the way... that you always think of me as well.”

“No problem. I can’t let you starve.”

Hotsuma laughed. 

“Uhmm... Excuse me... Usui-senpai?” A female voice interrupted their peaceful break. Shuusei tried not to roll his eyes and got up from his place on the ground.  
“What can I do for you?”  
“Well... you see, I have this friend, Aika-chan... She goes to another school and really likes your music... and I’ve told her you are at my school...Uhm and she wants me to ask you if you’d mind meeting her.”

Now Shuusei did roll his eyes. “Yes I would mind. Please tell your friend I’m not interested in meeting any girls at the moment.” He said as polite as possible despite his dwindling patience. 

“Oh yes, of course. I’m sorry, excuse me...” The girl quickly disappeared and Shuusei looked after her. 

“Really?” He asked no one in particular. “Now even other schools?”

“The cons of being popular.” Hotsuma smirked and Shuusei slightly hit his shoulder.

“Don’t mock me Renjou-kun.” Shuusei’s smile grew dangerous.

“I don’t. I only pity you and enjoy being avoided by everyone.”

“Shall I start avoiding you as well?” Shuusei asked, still an unreadable smile on his face.

“You would never do that. Right?” The last word was questioning. Hotsuma hoped so.

“No, I won’t. Don’t worry.” Now Shuusei’s expression was the usual gentle smile he wore around Hotsuma. 

“Good. And now eat your lunch. I don’t want you to starve.” Hotsuma advised his friend and pointed to his still more than half filled lunch box. 

“Yes mum.” Shuusei sighed obedient and picked the box up again to continue his meal. 

When the bell announced the end of the break the box was almost empty and Hotsuma content so that they returned to their classrooms. As soon as they entered the school building another girl stepped into their way. Hotsuma had seen her try her luck with Shuusei at least two times.

“Usui-senpaai!”

Shuusei sighed deeply. “No, I will not go out with you, Suzuki-san. You can as well give up.” Even now Shuusei tried to stay polite.

“Then tell me why. You don’t have a girlfriend, as you have told me before”, she asked.

“And I’m not interested in getting one.” Shuusei informed her and tried to pass her to get to his next lesson.

“Why that? Are you... gay?” She asked a bit too loudly and caught the attention of several surrounding pupils.

Shuusei’s smile grew as cold as ice. He directly faced her and said in a voice too calm to be friendly although he kept his polite way of talking: “Exactly. So would you please stop bothering me?” Now he really passed her and looked at Hotsuma so that he would follow him.

“Shuusei? You know that you just provided this school the next week’s gossip as well?”

“I don’t care. I just want to be left alone.” Shuusei said dryly. “And if they don’t understand it the polite way then I have to become direct to make them understand that none of them has the slightest chance with me. Perhaps I’ve been abroad too long that I stopped caring about things like this.” Shuusei shrugged. “See you later.” They had reached the stairs which Shuusei had to climb to reach his classroom so their ways separated. 

It didn’t take long for this news to spread and Hotsuma asked himself why anyone needed to make such a ruckus of it. Wasn’t it everyone’s private thing whether they preferred men or women? Of course, Shuusei was popular and good-looking. But that didn’t make him a prey for all those girls. And Hotsuma wouldn’t tolerate anyone trying to harm Shuusei because of his preference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end? You wish.
> 
> Tomorrow is the 24th and I've decided to provide you the end of BOTH stories as a special christmas gift.
> 
> (Or you can also say I've run out of space for this one and had to come up with another solution to bring it to a satisfying end xD)


	24. Day 24 - Wedding Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all.

Day 24a – Wedding Bells

Shuusei was nervous. She hadn’t felt this nervous before her surgeries. 

“Shuusei-chan! Stop playing with your hair! See, now I have to do it again... You pulled everything down!” Touko scolded the other young woman who was sitting in her room in front of the mirror while Touko worked on her hair and make-up.. “You want to look the best you can for Hotsuma, right?”

Shuusei nodded and tried to keep her hands still. “Everything will be okay. He will not run away. He’s completely devoted to you.”

“I know... but...”

“I know. You marry only one time. But because of that you should really amaze him. Come on sit still. Don’t dare to ruin your make-up”

Almost five years have passed. Shuusei and Hotsuma were both in their third year of university because Shuusei had paused one year for her medical treatment.  
The past years had been tough for both of them with many highs and lows. Someone had found out that Shuusei was a girl during her third year of High School, so in addition to the entrance exams for universities she had to face real rejection for the first time. Hotsuma and the other Zweilts – even Kuroto – of course stayed by her side and defended her. But that last half year was tough for her but it also provided her a new kind of strength. So when she entered university, she always presented feminine although everyone around her knew she was a transgender. She still had to face harsh comments, there were other students who felt offended by her mere existence, but now she could deal with these hostilities. The year after Hotsuma had managed to enter the same university and they moved into a small flat together, although most of the weekends the Zweilts still met up at the Tasogarekan. Occasionally they had to fight a Duras someone had summoned. But all in all they had a quite peaceful life.

And now that Shuusei’s transition was almost completed – she still took hormones but in a small dosage – the day had finally come. As she had promised five years ago, she would marry the man who stood by her side the whole time since the day she had finally found the courage to tell him about her identity. He never got tired to encourage her, to console her on bad days, and to praise her whenever needed. She really couldn’t believe that she really did it but she was really happy about it.

“Close your eyes” Touko demanded and applied a bit more hairspray on Shuusei’s complicated updo. 

“Wow. You’re really beautiful! I’m envious!” Touko grinned and hugged her friend carefully from behind trying not to destroy Shuusei’s hair again. 

“I will never be able to marry the one who’d be my nr. 1 choice.”

“I know... I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be! You will be happy today and not feel guilty for being so! And I will be happy with my brother for tonight. Also... you have invited that cute fellow student of yours, right?”

“Hideo-kun? Yes. He had also asked about you. I guess you can have luck with him. Just take care that Tsukumo doesn’t get jealous.”

“Yes.” Touko grinned. “But now is not the time for my love life. Come. It’s almost time.”

She took Shuusei’s arm to help her up. And she looked at her.   
They had decided on a western style wedding at the Tasogarekan so Shuusei wore an ivory coloured silk dress with lace decoration and some paste gems sparkling at her heart-shaped décolleté. It caressed her slim figure and flew out in a shining trail. 

The young women had not left the room when it knocked and Sodom looked inside. “Are you ready? Everyone’s wai... Oh!!! Your dress is sparkling!!!” Sodom jumped inside to marvel at the sparkling stones. “You’re beautiful!”

“Don’t you want to say the stones are beautiful?” Shuusei teased the dragon who pouted.

“Come on guys. The groom is waiting.” Touko chirped and led Shuusei out of the room. Everyone was assembled in the hall which was decorated with flowers. Shuusei and Hotsuma had invited everyone who had gotten close with them over the last years – friends from university, even the old lady from Hakone had come the whole way for them despite her old age. Her grandson and his partner who had helped Shuusei on her way were present as well. 

Everyone looked up when she came down the stairs. And Hotsuma who awaited his bride looked like he wanted to cry. Shuusei smiled when she looked at him in his customized smoking. He looked a bit out of place in it but also very adorable.   
When Shuusei reached the last step he stretched out his arms to receive her in a tight embrace not caring about any customs. 

“I can’t believe it! You’re so beautiful! My Shuusei! My pretty girl!” 

Shuusei smiled and gently brushed her fingers through his hair to calm her completely overwhelmed partner down. 

His eyes glistened with tears and pure admiration when he let go of her and needed to take another look at his beautiful bride. 

“I still can’t believe this day has come.” He admitted silently and Shuusei gently cupped his cheek. 

“Let’s go. Takashiro-sama is waiting.” She said and took his arm. Hotsuma nodded and couldn’t stop looking at the woman walking beside him.

What Takashiro said about a long way they had come and the strong bond that connected these two souls through more than just one lifetime, none of them really noticed. Both of them were nervously squeezing the other’s hand they refused to let go.

And soon the time had come for their wedding vows. Both of them had chosen their own words.

“I once told you”, Hotsuma started trying to keep his emotion filled voice even, “that no matter if you were a boy or a girl or even an ugly green alien I’d love you. I hope I’ve proven that fact enough. I’ve seen you at your best and worst. And I will stay by your side as I have as long as I can remember. Now and in every future life. I will always stay with you and support you. I’m yours forever.”

Shuusei was sure she was not the only one feeling the power of Hotsuma’s words. The only one who may not have noticed that he had just used his special ability was perhaps Hotsuma himself. Hotsuma took one of the rings Sodom was offering and slid it on Shuusei’s finger.

Shuusei returned in her own emotional words but also trying not to laugh out because of her own chosen words: “I once was sure this day would never happen. I was afraid to be myself. I didn’t even dare to tell you, the other part of my soul, the truth, anxiously hoping you’d never find out that I’m not the boy you always thought I was. But the moment you did, you told me...” – now she was giggling and crying ant the same time – “you told me no matter if I were a boy or a girl, or even an ugly green alien, you’d love me. And since that day you kept encouraging me to fight for myself; to become who I am. And now I’m more than thankful for that. I’m yours as I’ve always been and I will always stay by your side no matter what happens. I will support you as much as you did for me. Now and in every future life. I’m yours forever.”

She took the other ring from Sodom and slid it on Hotsuma’s finger.

No she did not just adjust her words to Hotsuma’s. They had chosen their words completely independent from each other.  
Hotsuma grinned intertwined their fingers and looked at Shuusei full of love. And then he kissed her. And Shuusei returned that kiss. God, she loved this man. Without him she would still hide behind anxieties and insecurities. 

And then after some final words from Takashiro the ceremonial part was over. Their friends came closer to congratulate them and hug them and celebrate. The rest of the afternoon went by as a blur of people, delicious food and music. And when the evening came Hotsuma kidnapped his wonderful wife. The others could celebrate until morning. He had better plans. 

And Shuusei didn’t mind spend the night somewhere else. She felt exhausted. Many people in one place would always drain her energy. She just informed Touko that they would leave now for the next two weeks and then left the mansion. 

They climbed into Hotsuma’s car, their things were already packed and Shuusei closed her eyes as soon as they left the ground of the Tasogarekan. She was really tired and trusted her husband with his choice for their night. Tomorrow they would leave for Sapporo to have two weeks with the last snow in a spa-hotel.

When the car stopped Shuusei opened her eyes to find herself in front of a quite noble hotel not far from the airport.

“Not bad...”, she smiled.

“I can’t let my wonderful wife spend her wedding night in some rundown motel along the way, right? Let me spoil you tonight.”

“Don’t you do that all the time?” Shuusei grinned and they left the car. Hotsuma only took a small bag with him which contained their clothes for the next day. 

Soon they had checked in and entered their room. The bag was soon forgotten as Hotsuma turned his full attention to Shuusei.

“I still can’t believe we’re really here now. I’m so proud of you that you really found the strength to go this whole way.” He kissed her and gently embraced her.

“I would not be here without you.” Shuusei said and felt Hotsuma’s fingers exploring her body through her silken dress and an anticipating shower ran through her body. 

“I want you Shuusei... I want you so much... Please... let me have you tonight.” Hotsuma begged as one of his hands carefully cupped one of her breasts which seemed to be perfectly fitting. This would be their first time since Shuusei’s bottom surgery. She wanted to be really sure that everything was fully healed and this way somehow her wedding night would also be her first time as a woman.

“Of course I’ll let you have me. Make me all yours.” She had not even finished that sentence when she felt him opening the zipper of her dress.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful!” He whispered excitedly after the fabric fell to the floor and left er only in her underwear but gently exploring all of her curves with his hands and lips, leading her to the bed. And when his hand started to explore her between her legs he could feel how she pressed herself against him sighing contently and he planned to completely drive her insane. They would have all night to prove their love in every possible way. And the rest of their lives as well.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The was this story. There is nothing more to tell. They live their lives as a happy family. Perhaps they adopt a child or two... but this I leave to your imagination.
> 
> I really hope you liked it.


	25. Day 24 - Rejouissance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets daamatic but finds a good end

Day 24 – Rejouissance

The following Monday the comments Hotsuma received got even more hostile and he started to bite back. Only verbally for that moment but he felt his temper rising and his patience dwindling.  
Of course it was only him the teachers scolded although this time it was not him who started it. But he was already used to this treatment. Somewhere occurred trouble – it’s Renjou’s fault. That’s how it went. He didn’t mind anymore.

Everything escalated after school when Hotsuma started his way home. Shuusei for once stayed behind. A teacher wanted to talk to him after lessons ended so Hotsuma had to go home alone when what felt like half the females of this school and some of the guys stepped into his way.

“You stay away from Usui-kun. Got it?” one of the girls from Shuusei’s class started.

“You don’t deserve his friendship.” Another girl from the third year added.

“You should stay away from this school.”

“Best you joined your parents in their graves”

“We don’t want you here!”

Hotsuma was completely taken aback. He knew most of the other students didn’t like him but he didn’t expect them all to unite against him. Soon he was surrounded and unable to get away. 

“Leave me alone you shitheads! I’ve done nothing to you!” he demanded.

“You’ve done more than enough! I wonder why Usui chose you of all people to be friends with... Why are you even friends?” one of the guys provoked him. “Are you secretly fucking him?”

“Keep away from him! He sure doesn’t want that. That’s rape!”

“Wai...” This was so ridiculous Hotsuma didn’t even know how to react, but the choice was taken from him when someone shoved him from behind into another guy’s arms.

“Ugh! Stay away from me faggot! Rape someone else!” And that was for Hotsuma the sign to stop being nice. Those people were here to humiliate him. He did not stand a chance but he would not be the only one injured today. 

He was breathing heavily, a split lip, his ribs ached but he stood his ground fighting five guys at once.  
But suddenly behind him the group fell completely silent. Someone had joined them and when Hotsuma dared to turn around he found Shuusei standing there expression more than just icy. Not even a smile was visible. His friend was furious. 

Without a word Shuusei stepped through the crowd to stand by Hotsuma’s side. No one was daring to step into his way. Everyone was sensing that it would be a very bad idea to oppose the collected boy right now.

“29 people against one. I’ve never seen such cowardice before.” His voice was calm but filled with revulsion. He seemed to look at everyone, noticing every small movement. “You don’t dare to scratch my reputation so you choose to lash against my best friend? And what did you fucking bigots hope to achieve with that behaviour? Gain my respect? That’s disgusting! You’re disgusting! Let me tell you something: None of you scums will ever be able to distance myself from my friends. And now get lost! All of you or I’ll forget myself completely. You fuckwits piss me off!” His voice was now filled with venom he seemed ready to attack anyone who dared to provoke him the slightest.

Most of the girls and boys indeed left the scene. No one had ever seen Shuusei in such a mood and none of them doubted he would make empty threats.

“U...sui-kun” His classmate from earlier started but he looked as her coldly

“Which part of get lost didn’t you understand? Shall I spell it out for you? Oh... And don’t think I don’t know who was participating. When I see any!! of you near Hotsuma again don’t count on my empathy.”

She gulped and backed off as well as the rest of the people.

“Are you okay?” Shuusei turned to Hotsuma and looked at him worriedly.

“Y...yeah... I’m fine. But... Shuusei... that was scary... I never want you as my enemy.”

“No... you don’t. Believe me. No one does. Just because I prefer to stay out of trouble doesn’t mean I can’t defend myself or the ones who are important to me.”

“So... you know how to fight?”

“Of course I do.” A small smile crept on Shuusei’s lips. “I had to gain my grounds in America. A small polite Asian is not considered someone to take seriously. And sometimes you need to get a bit rough for the others to understand they can’t fuck you over.”

“I’m not used to such bad words from you.”

“As I said I prefer the peaceful way. But a smile and please and thank you would not have done here. Come, you have to see the nurse... Your poor victims fled as I see.” Shuusei said and returned to the building.

“You pity them?” Hotsuma asked trying to keep up. His ribs really hurt and his lip bled.

“I pity them for their injuries. Not the reason they got them. They deserved what they got. That’s out of question. Do you want to lean on me?”

“Thanks I can walk quite fine...” Shuusei snickered. Of course Hotsuma would bear his injuries with pride.

Soon after they reached the infirmary and the nurse sighed deeply when she spotted Hotsuma.

“Again?” The woman asked. “Sit down.”

“This time he’s innocent. He just defended himself.” Shuusei said and waited for the nurse to finish examining his friend. 

“I know. I’ve seen it all.” She pointed to the window before switched her attention to Hotsuma’s lip.

“You‘re hell of a lucky guy Renjou-kun. Nothing’s broken your lip will also need no stitches. Just keep it cool. Have an ice cream or two and you’ll be fine. And try to stay out of trouble.”

“I haven’t done anything this time. They came to beat me up...” Just because he was Shuusei’s friend.

“Yes... do you know the reason?”

“When the most popular student is best friends with the least popular it attracts problems”, Shuusei replied.

“I see... Don’t let them ruin your friendship.” The nurse looked at Shuusei. “He needs someone to ground him.”

Shuusei smirked. “You don’t have to tell me how I should deal with this hot-head. I know him far longer than you.”

~~~

An hour later both of them were sitting at their favourite spot under the Sakura trees eating an ice cream to cool Hotsuma’s lip. 

“I have to say I really like what you’re hiding from the world.” Hotsuma smirked looking at his best friend proudly.

“What do you mean?” 

“What I mean? Everything. Your taste in music, this... dark side you’ve shown today. All the deep things one would not think you’d like or do. I like it.”

Shuusei smiled. “And I really like the gentleness you’re hiding from the world. I guess I’m the only one who can see it”, he confessed. “When I look at you I can still see the bright boy you used to be. And I like it in combination with your harsh outside.”  
He put his hand on top of Hotsuma’s. 

The blonde boy was again a bit surprised but then he turned his hand around so that their fingers could intertwine.

“Thank you for being here Hotsuma. I’m not the only one who keeps you grounded. I also felt lonely over there and I’m glad to have my best friend back.” Shuusei said quietly and looked into Hotsumas eyes. 

“I... don’t know what to say...” Hotsuma said and couldn’t turn his eyes away. 

“Then say nothing.” Shuusei whispered when he closed their distance and let his lips gently slide against Hotsuma’s. It was just a short tender touch as if to test the waters but also to pass on sincere feelings.

“Ouch.” Hotsuma pulled away. Of course that contact had hurt his lip.

“I’m sorry...” Shuusei seemed a bit insecure. He looked at his best friend anxiously.

Hotsuma fell silent seeming to figure out what had just happened.

“Don’t be...” he said quietly. “Just... I don’t want to lose my best friend...”

Shuusei smiled. “You won’t. Hotsuma... Even if this fails... I’m convinced our friendship will survive. Believe in your own words. Bestest friends forever.”

“Bestest friends forever.” Hotsuma repeated as if to taste these words he had spoken so many years before. Then he nodded. “If you stay my friend... then it’s okay.”

Shuusei smiled happily and soon sat directly next to Hotsuma leaning his head on his shoulder.

“But Hotsuma...”

“Hm?”

“I have one condition.”

“Which one?” Hotsuma looked at Shuusei carefully waiting for that condition.

“Never kiss me right after you smoked.” 

“What?”

“You heard correctly.”

“That’s all?”

“That’s all.” Shuusei smiled and kissed Hotsuma again this time looking out to not hit the injury.

 

THE END (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this year's writing challege.
> 
> But not the end of this story. I have planned a continuation cause this baby kept developing on and on while working on it. So if you are at least a bit interested I might write it out.
> 
> Merry Christmas!


End file.
